Mailing Lists & How to Get the Password

Posted on May 28, 2009 in colophon | 342 Comments

Sugarbutch Chronicles has two different mailing lists, and one way to get the password to the protected posts. Since I’ve had a few more password posts than usual lately, I’ve had some folks asking, so it’s about time to put up a new explanation.

1. The Newsletter

The newsletter is the once-a-month mailing list where I send out announcements about the site, special offers (sometimes I have passwords or offer codes from some Sugarbutch sponsors), and general updates. Email me – aspiringstud[at]gmail.com – to get on this mailing list, or leave a comment with your valid email address in the comments of this post.

2. Sugarbutch Daily to your email inbox

If you aren’t really a “blog person,” if you don’t read half the internet every day (like I do), if you don’t subscribe to RSS feeds and spend a lot of your time on the web, but you still love reading Sugarbutch, you might want to consider subscribing via email.

Entering your email address in below will send you ONE email per day with the text of all the posts that have been published that day. If there are no posts, you won’t get an email.

Enter your email address:

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3. Password protected posts

The password protected posts tend to be more personal, often musings about my own self-awareness, emotional processes, or the details of my relationships, which often feel vulnerable in a way that writing about sex does not (I know, weird, but that’s how it is). (Sometimes they are very smutty, dirty stories, with kinks or explorations that are dark and difficult to reveal – so it’s not all omphaloskepsis, there is some sex stuff too, sometimes.) Leave a comment in this thread with a valid email address and a link to your blog, your myspace, your facebook, or some other way to verify that you are a real person. If you ask for the password, I’ll also add you to The Newsletter mailing list.

342 Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , , ,

Personal favorites, and more answers

Posted on May 12, 2009 in colophon, omphaloskepsis | 4 Comments

More answers to questions (from bzzzzgrrrl of City Mouse Country).

What’s your favorite bit of smut you’ve written in the last three years?

The Sugarbutch Star stories in general, and probably Diner in the Corner (last year’s winner) and The Girl in the Red Dress (from this year) in particular.

I also really like the stories about Kristen, go figure (have I mentioned I kind of like this girl?) – like My slutty little girl and Wait for me on your knees. Look in the sidebar under the “popular” tab for more of the very top posts on this site – usually the readers and I agree about which ones are the hottest.

I’ve been working on getting a “best of” collection together, the page is still not up, but you can look through the “best of” tag if you want to get a sense of some of the other favorite things that I’ve written.

What’s your favorite bit of smut you’ve read elsewhere in the last three years?

I’ve read so much … if you follow my Google Reader shared items, you’ll see many, many of my favorite things that I’m reading in the sexblog circles. I am still reading a lot of smut and erotica books, too, but they are slower, and often not as good, as the good sexblogs – the online stuff seems more cutting edge, more real. Also probably because I get to start developing deeper relationships with these blog writers, I follow their stories through identity development or heartbreak or growth, so I become more invested.

So: what jumps to mind, and a story that I frequently come back to (and jack off to), is Jack Stratton’s story A Life Exposed and Amplified from his blog Writing Dirty.

I’ve also been really into Patrick Califia lately, and re-reading Doing it for Daddy and Macho Sluts. I also often re-read some parts of Carol Queen’s book The Leather Daddy and the Femme (like the gangbang, gawdamn).

What’s your favorite comment?

I don’t know if I could pick one single comment. I love the ones where people say they understand something about themselves, or about their lovers, better, because of what I’ve written. I love the ones that say someone is coming to a new identity, a new understanding, a more solid and improved place. Those tiny moments of transformation are huge, and I’m so thrilled to have any part of it, so glad that my stories resonate, at all.

What comment caused you to stop and think most?

I don’t know about which comment overall for the site caused me to stop and think the most, but lately, someone has asked about putting a warning label on potentially triggering stories (especially regarding BDSM and the ways that can possibly trigger survivors) and I’ve been thinking a lot about that. It’s why I put up the warning (“If you’re new here, you should know that this site contains BDSM, kink, gender explorations, and explicit queer sex. You may want to subscribe to my RSS feed, or not. This warning will self-destruct.”) which will go away after you visit the site 3 or 5 times or something, but I’m still wondering if individual posts need to be more contained and protected too. I have a lot of thoughts about why to do this, or why not to do this, and I’m still asking around and chewing on it.

What perspective do you wish someone else would write about, well?

I find it fascinating that women are the primary authors of sexblogs. I think this is for a few reasons, like for example that depiction of men’s sexual desire is not rare and perhaps perceived as not even interesting enough in this culture to read about or consume, and also that men do not have to create and re-create spaces for their desire to be explored and heard the same way women do. But I also think we’re in a transformational point in masculinity, which I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, and I think it’s really important for men to be writing about “the new male” gender stuff, defining it for themselves, talking about it. Like Figleaf’s Real Adult Sex for example, which is incredibly thoughtful and cutting edge, and always one of my favorite blogs.

Other perspectives I’d love to read more of: guys who identify as femme, butches (we seem to be on the rise, but there still aren’t as many as there are femme blogs out there), guys who identify as butch, gay guys (where are all of those sexblogs? I must be just totally out of the loop), butch bottoms, femme tops … there are so many different ways to identify and navigate and explore sexuality, I’m interested in just about all of them really. Especially the ones that are underrepresented.

4 Comments | Category: colophon, omphaloskepsis | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Happy 3rd Anniversary, Sugarbutch

Posted on April 29, 2009 in colophon | 23 Comments

three

It was three years ago today that I started Sugarbutch Chronicles, my latest in personal online writing explorations (aka “blogs”) since 1996. Since then, I’ve written 713 posts and received 6,149 comments in 36 categories (with 1,622 tags, which are mostly for fun and not for organization). I’ve met so many amazing folks who are pursuing sexuality and queer identity through feminist, progressive lenses.

And I’ve had the best sex of my life.

Thank you, everyone, for being a part of this. For reading, for commenting, for sending emails and being supportive.

Last year on the 2nd anniversary, I reflected on some of where I’ve been and how this site started (lesbian bed death! hiss!). Instead of reiterating, I want to skip to the ask me anything portion of the anniversary celebration and say: got a question for me? Ask me anything. You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of. I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.

I probably won’t answer all the questions just purely based on time (you’d rather I was writing smut, wouldn’t you?) but I’ll answer as many as I can.

Aaaaaand … go!

23 Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , , , ,

What happened in March 2009

Posted on April 6, 2009 in colophon | No Comments

Sex! Oh boy oh boy oh girl oh god ohhhh …

Gender

Personal

Reviews

Some more miscellany …

No Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , ,

Announcements: Three New Projects

Posted on March 17, 2009 in colophon | 6 Comments

I’ve got three new projects brewing, and they’re finally all just about ready for public launch.

toyswap-copyOne: The ToySwap Network

The idea started when I asked if anyone on Twitter had unused massage candles or massage oil just sitting around, and Dangerous Lilly offered up a nice little Babeland massage candle, and we started talking about how great it would be to have a place to swap the things we don’t use. Lots of sexbloggers are overrun with toys to review, and we end up with lots of things we don’t use or don’t want. So, we started doing some research about how to develop a little network for toy swapping, and after a bit of drama, we settled on Ning.com.

Unfortunately we might still have a bit of a problem here, since Ning.com updated their terms of service to not allow any “adult-themed” groups, but we’re trying to work that out with the administrators. Which is why I haven’t mentioned it yet.

But! Things are looking good! And the group is going strong! And today marks the beginning of our first Swap Week, where we hope folks will flock to do more trades than usual, to keep our lists updated and offer up the best of what we got.

If you want to join, you need an invitation to join our specific group but you can sign up at Ning.com and let me know you want to be a part of it with a comment here and I’ll send you a personal invitation.

Two: The Sugarbutch Recommended Amazon store


Hand-picked books, DVDs, & other products from Amazon.com and recommended just for you.

It’s a little peek into my bookshelves, really, because these are some of the best of the best books about gender, sex, sexuality, and theory that I’ve read, many of which I own. Hope you find some good recommendations and interesting things inside the store.

Three: Mr. Sexsmith Recommends … Hot queer porn movies on demand, through Hot Movies For Her

vodscreenshot

Sign up at Hot Movies for Her and receive 20 free minutes (usually you just get 10), then come back to VOD.sugarbutch.net to check out some of my hand-picked favorites. Quite possibly my favorite scene of all time – Episode 1 from the Crash Pad Series – is now included on HMFH. I also recommend Real Life in San Francisco and Good Dyke Porn and Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls and oh, right, I recommend everything in there, I picked it all out!

Last but not least:

Allyson is featured on Queer Eye Candy today. We’ve known each other for years – she’s one of the few folks still in my life who knew me before I came out. She’s started a new project at The Femme Domestic and it’s quite lovely so far.

The Community page has been slightly updated – I’m not great at keeping up with it, the RSS reader is a better way to see which blogs I’m reading. If you’d like to be added to the Community page, leave a comment or send me an email and I’ll get you updated soon.

6 Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What happened in February

Posted on March 2, 2009 in colophon | 1 Comment

February 2009! It was a quick month, but there was still some great stuff going on. And I won this little award you might have heard of …

Sex:

  • Sugarbutch Star: Matt (part one) – This was a story submission that challenged me to include specific images for all five senses, and I’ve been struggling with it for a while. I love the challenge, but woah it’s hard. Part two is still forthcoming.

Gender:

Miscellany:

  • The Lezzys are here! Nominations for the Lezzy Awards, the Lezzy Award Finalists, and then … ta da! Two Lezzys? Really?! Thanks, everybody who voted. Check out the other winners & nominees, too, there are some really excellent blogs in those lists.
  • The Best Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008 list via the Pleasurists came out in February, and I ranted a little bit about how sex toy reviews are permiating sex blogs these days. Just to be clear, this was not intended to be a cricism of the list itself – I think it’s quite useful! And I found some great new sites to read by going through it. It was only a reflection on the increased amount of toys that have been going around our sites, and what I’ve been thinking about that. I don’t think we should stop reviewing and I don’t dislike reviewing (I love it!), I just know for myself I want to be more discerning about the companies I work with and the toys (and other books, DVDs, etc) that I accept to review.
  • Semantics: The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex, brought to you by my friend Mr. K. Great comments about this concept, worth reading.
  • Important Calls for Support: Home Alive & Scarleteen If you’ve got an activist bone in ya, these two organizations are looking for support. They’re very important and I highly recommend getting involved, if you feel inspired.

Reviews:

  • Bow Restraints
  • Jaguar Harness has some great comments from people whose opinions of this harness are different than mine, really useful I think if you’re in the market for a harness.
  • Johnny … mmm, a big cock.

1 Comment | Category: colophon | Tags: , ,

What happened in January

Posted on February 27, 2009 in colophon | No Comments

I’m so behind on the roundups. I’ve been less focused on Sugarbutch in January and February because I’ve had some personal things going on, not the least of which is the new relationship with Kristen. Here’s what I wrote about on Sugarbutch in January 2009.

Sex:

Gender:

More stuff:

Reviews:

No Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , ,

What happened in December

Posted on January 21, 2009 in colophon | No Comments

I’m way behind on the end-of-the-year stuff. I want to do a 2009 roundup, too – that is, hopefully, coming.

Meanwhile, here’s what happened in December:

Sex & Relationships:

Gender

Community

Personal

  • Letter to a friend was about my own personal power, and is password protected.
  • Probably my favorite piece of writing from December was My Father’s Son, a prose-poem about my relationship with my dad and my gender.

Semantics

Colophon

Reviews

And that, as they say, was that.

No Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , ,

How to Read Sugarbutch

Posted on December 22, 2008 in colophon | 8 Comments

Welcome to Sugarbutch 4.0! I’ve made some changes around here in the past two months, and unless you’re a purely RSS reader who never comments, you’ve probably noticed. It’s no longer a typical blog layout with the recent posts displayed chronologically on the front page of the site – the layout is more magazine or newspaper style, with the most recent post for each of the categories displayed in different sections.

Here’s a breakdown of how to navigate through the front page of Sugarbutch Chronicles 4.0:

ABOVE THE FOLD:

First & foremost, there’s the heading, search box, and the top navigation. This is part of the grey site navigation areas and is included on every page and post within this site. It includes About, Archives, Community, Contest, Definitions, and the FAQ.

The featured post will now be the first thing you see when you visit Sugarbutch.net. This is a weekly (or so) polished piece that I am particular proud of, or that I want to get maximum exposure, so it gets top billing until I write the next featured piece. This could be from any of the categories, but will probably most often be gender theory. The featured post area also includes tabs you can navigate through the most recent smut, In Praise of Femmes, or On Butches pieces of writing, which are my personal favorite categories on this site, so I decided to give them a little extra exposure by highlighting them “above the fold.”

FULL RIGHT COLUMN:

Areas shaded in grey are for site navigation, and this includes the bar at the top of all pages. In the right-hand sidebar, first there is the greeting, then – after you skip that green stuff – comes the links that will help you navigate the site. This includes a list of recent posts, most popular posts, recent comments, and tags, as well as the et cetera which includes RSS links and a space for you to sign up on the mailing list.

Ads & affiliates areas are shaded green. This includes occasional sponsors, and my affiliate programs, which are websites whose products & services I recommend highly enough to give them advertising in exchange for a tiny kickback when my readers sign up or purchase products from their site. Explore them all in the affiliates area.

The leeeettle green area at the very bottom of the right-hand bar is (well, currently) a place for you to order the Sugarbutch Star chapbook or donate to my “send Sinclair to Dark Odyssey!” fund. Support and donations are greatly appreciated. (Plus, don’t you want to read about my stories of fisting girls in the woods at winter camp? I thought so.)

LOWER LEFT COLUMN:

Stories to turn you on is the entire tan lower left-hand column. This is either fiction stories, stories from the Sugarbuch Star Contest, or aspiring stud stories from my personal life. The most recent 5 hot smutty stories are displayed here.

LOWER CENTER COLUMN:

Product reviews are pretty straightforward; the most recent product review is contained in this area. I review sex toys most frequently, but also films and books, and who knows, maybe occasionally other stuff.

Semantics is the category for exploring language, words, and definitions. We are not necessarily taught the language of marginalized sexualities, so a lot of language we have to either make up for ourselves, appropriate, or reclaim through linguistic techniques and word explorations. Using a common language is a huge way to build community, too, by creating a common dialect. I love exploring this stuff.

The community category includes Public Service Announcements, events, activism, guest posts, interviews, and then all sorts of other random miscellany, including contests and give-aways.

The aspiring stud stories are from my dating life; it’s kind of the “Mr. Sexsmith’s reality show” category, and often includes recaps of dates or sex play, musings on

The writings I include under the orange personal category are often password protected and under the category of “omphaloskepsis,” aka navel gazing. Not that this entire site and every category could also serve as naval gazing – certainly they could. The personal category also includes occasional poems or prose-poems.

Last, but not least, in the center column, is colophon which is a word for the pages in books with publication information on it, such as the number of copies printed, printing or type information, and copyright information. I use it to gather things about the site. The main thing I post in Colophon these days is the monthly roundup, which highlights the important writings each month.

Okay, that’s it!

If you wish you could see a list of what is most recent, I’m working on a tab in the featured area at the top which will display the most recent posts, but am not finished with the coding yet. For now, check the sidebar (in grey) for a list of the most recent posts by title, or subscribe to the RSS feed and read Sugarbutch in your feed reader.

If you’re looking for the category or monthly archive list, those are under “Archives” on the top navigation bar. I’m trying to figure out a way to put them back into the sidebar, but still working on that coding as well.

Any questions? Does this breakdown help? Are there features that you are missing, and you wish I’d bring back? Do you like this new navigation, or hate it? Is it easier? Are you wondering where something’s gone? Ask away.

8 Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , , , , ,

What happened in November

Posted on December 15, 2008 in colophon | No Comments

Ah, November 2008: forever famous for THE ELECTION OF BARAK OBAMA as the President of the United States. Oh, rejoice, liberals of the US and the world. Except … then there was that pesky little thing about gay marriage amendments in three states, and the amendment that makes it illegal for unmarried folks to adopt in Arkansas.

But that wasn’t all. There was also the New York City Sexbloggers Calendar offical release party.

So even though I was attempting to take time off in November (betcha didn’t know that, huh), there were still many posts.

RELATIONSHIPS

ACTIVISM:

  • Post Election: On Love – and about my disappointment in the 2008 election, despite the fantastic nomination of Obama.
  • Letter to myself: Enough Moping – we took the temperature of the country by seeing how these anti-gay amendments passed so easily. Stop dwelling on the giant blow of the election and channel the hurt energy into activism. Buck the fuck up.

COMMUNITY:

REVIEWS:

In November, I also relaunched Sugarbutch into this new layout – if you’re reading via RSS, come on by and check it out. I’m still working on a “how to read this new layout” type of post, I know it’s rather difficult to tell which posts are new, but I’ve got some plans to fix that and I’ll iron that out in the near future.

No Comments | Category: colophon | Tags: , , , ,

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