Plus Size Pegging: A Longer Dildo & Comfortable Harness

My wife and I have been dabbling in pegging. She has mentioned to me that the harness is uncomfortable and that it would probably be better if we found a longer dildo, because we are a bit on the plus size. Currently we have a 6”, 7”, and 8”, so I’m thinking 10 or 12 “ length would be fine. I have looked for longer dildos but have come up empty handed and not real sure the best route to take in this hunt.

Any suggestion on a website or a product that could help us out? Thanks.
— C

Sure, I’ve got a few recommendations for you.

You’re totally right about a longer dildo. You have an 8″ already? Most of the ones made with high quality silicone don’t get too much longer than 8. SheVibe.com has some, but primarily Doc Johnson brand — which are usually made from very poor materials and have that very strong plastic off-gassing smell.

One of the high quality ones is Gambler by Vixen Creations. It’s gorgeous — and huge! 11″ long, 3″ circumference. It’s kind hard to tell just how big it is by the photos on their site & other sites.

(Maybe someone will send me one so that I can take some photos for you with comparable objects for size … hint.)

But honestly — that one might be too big!

Here’s another: try Leroy, from New York Toy Collective — It’s 9.5″ long, 2.5″ wide, so it’s pretty big. Duo-density, which means it has a hard core but a soft squishy outside, so it’s not like plastic so much as a toy. Plus the inner core is ‘posable’ so it can bend and stay in place. New York Toy Collective gives $5 off with code SUGARBUTCH.

As far as harnesses go: the one you want, in my opinion, is the Joque by SpareParts.

the Joque harness by SpareParts

They have a size A that goes to 50″ waist and a size B to a 65″ waist. It’s stretchy and comfortable, more like wearing underwear, and gives a lot of tight control — more than the panty-style ones. Which also means the straps are wider and softer, so it doesn’t dig in to squishy parts like other harnesses do. It comes in some colors (red, black, purple) if the black is too boyish. It velcros, which makes it really easy to step into and you don’t have to fuss with buckles. It’s also easy to wash in the washing machine.

The Joque is jock-strap style, meaning it has two straps that go under the butt, not in between the butt cheeks. They do have a thong-style version, too, called Theo.

Hope that helps!

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queer women" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert.

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