Fern’s first kiss makes my knees ache to buckle, my hands flailing to catch the air. Our shades of lipstick blend together and turn into the color of a bruise, all purple and red and plum. It makes me nervous to have color all over my mouth, I never let the edges go so mussed, but I like her imprint on me. Her lips are soft, so soft. She won’t let me put my hands in her hair, which makes me want to even more.
Her tiny leather vest had pins on it, some with dates—2013, 2012, 2011—one with tiny handcuffs, one with tiny stilettos. The back of it is embroidered in red and blue leather with the words “Ms. Formal Leather 2012,” and I puzzle as to what it all means. I hope she’ll keep me around long enough to find out.
She takes me to a wine bar around the corner. By now, I figure she’s smelled the money on me, but either way, she is a better date than James. But she doesn’t blink when the check comes, just slides some elite plastic from her tiny purse and says, “You’re coming home with me now.”
I giggle, dizzy from the burgundy and intoxicated from the sight of her smooth long legs, from the feel of the tips of my fingers dipping between her thighs. She leans in to my neck and sucks, nibbling gently, whispering, “Angie, I can’t wait to taste you,” and I bite my first two fingers to keep from moaning.
She takes my hand, pulls me from the restaurant, and hails a cab, all while keeping her mouth on my neck, her hand fisting my hair and holding my head precisely where she wants me. That pressure is the only thing keeping me standing, otherwise I swear I would be a puddle on the grimy, gum-stained sidewalk.
My thighs stick to the faux-leather back seat of the cab as I slide over so she can get in after me. Fern gives her address and some quick, specific directions, her fingers still tangled at the base of my neck.
Satisfied that the driver is following orders, she leans over to me, turning her shoulders to slide one of her hands between my thighs. I gasp. “What do you like, girl?” She’s whispering right next to my ear.
“I like … I like it when you kiss me,” I struggle with words.
She turns my head with her fist and our lips brush. “What else.”
“I like … rough. I like being thrown around. I like being used.”
Fern nods slowly, her lips exploring mine with each movement.
“I like … being filled up.” I’m pushing my legs open, begging with my hips for her to touch my pussy. I’m sure I’m wet; I feel hot and sticky, pulsing, swollen. She’s grazing the edges of my panties, dragging her her fingernails over my thighs just enough so I can feel it. Just enough to make me want more. I want to cry out. I want to beg.
“Oh, you do huh.”
Fern cups her whole hand over my vulva and lets me press it against her, trying to get my clit against the heel of her palm. “Please,” I whisper. “Please.”
She moans a little. “Mmm, I like that.”
My dress is up way past my knees and I’m sure the driver can see whatever he wants in his rear view. My shoulders are thrown back, knees thrown open. I’m at her mercy. I want her fingers, her tongue, anything she would give me. Please, please. I can’t wait. I’ll do anything, everything. She brings one finger up to my mouth and slides it in against my tongue. I close my lips, close my eyes, and suck.
I am still bare, lying diagonally on her vast, fluffy bed, when Fern comes out of the shower. The sheets smell like her, the sweetness of some big yellow and white flower that tumbles down onto the ground with abandon, plus a little bit of harsh savory seriousness, along with a hint of down feathers. My entire body buzzes and pulses, and I can still feel her fingers on my hips, my thighs. She emerges with a puff of steam behind her, opening the master bathroom door wide to let it air out. The steam dissipates quickly and barely licks my calves and toes, just a whisper of wet warmth. Fern is wrapped in a thick grey towel that covers her body from above her breasts to her knees, wrapped more than once around her slender frame. Her hair hangs past her shoulders, darker now that it is damp.
She sits down at the vanity next to the picture window and watches me in the mirror while she pumps lotion into her hands and begins rubbing it into her skin. It hits my nose like I’d just driven by an entire field of honeysuckle—so sticky sweet, bright and pungent and enlivening.
I close my eyes, rolling on to my stomach and propping myself up with my elbows, my chin in my hands, and inhale deeply. “Mmm,” I sigh, with the same kind of relaxed eagerness as if I’ve been on a quest and now have found the source.
She smiles at me through the mirror, letting out a quiet laugh. Her voice is hoarse now. “You like?”
“It’s heavenly.” I sigh again.
Her hair is so fine, it is pretty much already dry, but it is tangled and matted from all of our rolling around. She holds up a bottle and a brush and says, “Would you?”
I nod, slipping off of the bed and taking the objects from her hands. I spray the bottle onto her tangles and gently start running the dark red comb through her hair. The teeth are big and wide, the handle is thick. I don’t use combs, only brushes really, the ones with the fine bristles, they smooth my hair the best. This, Fern’s red comb, feels foreign in my hands, but I want to be gentle, don’t want to pull. I spray more of the tonic and some of the knots loosen as I work them with the teeth, starting from the bottom, holding her hair so the pressure of the comb doesn’t pull her scalp.
Her shoulders are landscapes: the contours of the bones, the muscles. My eyes wander to her neck, her clavicle, the top curves of her breasts that are not covered by the grey towel. She continues with her creams and lotions, rubbing one kind in to her elbows, another kind to her knees and thighs, a third on her face.
I concentrate. More sprays from the tonic, more detailed attention to the matted knot that her hair has become—and then this one pulls through and begins to comb clean. There is one more on the other side. She is almost ignoring me, but I feel closer to her than when her whole hand was inside me. And then I feel it: I’m wet again.
Featured image from Crash Pad Series Episode #123, Kathryn Dupri and Lily Cade.