Open Relationship Mini Interview with Becca Bee: Identify Needs vs Wants

January 1, 2013  |  essays

1. What insight about open relationships do you wish you had when you started?

That you need a support system of people who understand when you are just having a feeling that needs to be heard, but not necessarily by your partner. That they can listen and validate the feeling without worrying that your other relationship(s) are in jeopardy because you’re having a feeling. Crisis mode/intervention is not needed every time you have envy or even *gasp* jealousy.

2. What has been the hardest thing about opening your relationship, and how have you overcome that?

That I’m awfully good at introducing my primary partners to their new primary partner. I’m currently working on this by not having a primary partner, and acting as in independent owner/operator. Which is very different for me.

3. What has been the best thing about your open relationship?

Beefing up my communication skills with the world. Each relationship exponentially adds to the communication load of every other relationship. Updated calendars are a must.

4. Anything else you’d like to add?

Identifying your actual needs vs your actual wants. Sometimes they look an awful lot like each other, and the identification can be difficult. Also, letting your relationships know what things they provide for you that is unique and important to you.

 

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2 Comments


  1. Yes to the need for updated calendars and keeping up with communication. So much misunderstanding and hurt feelings could be avoided by minding that rule. And definitely yes to having support systems in place, friends you can be open and honest with and who will keep your confidences, as well as, call you on your shit as necessary.

  2. I love all your insights, Miss Becca. Looking forward to receiving more of them in the near future. :)

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