Open Relationship Mini Interview with Gina Mink: Jealousy is Normal

December 17, 2012  |  essays

Gina Mink

1. What insight about open relationships do you wish you had when you started?

I wish I had any insight at all, honestly. When you are bombarded all your life with a certain standard view of the world/relationships, any drifting outside the “norm” will present new challenges. I ran into it when I came out gay, I ran into it again when I started dating someone that was already in a primary relationship. The biggest hump for me was wrapping my mind around the fact that it wasn’t cheating.

2. What has been the hardest thing about opening your relationship, and how have you overcome that?

For me the hardest thing, at least in the beginning, was dealing with jealousy. As time has progressed and our relationship has gotten stronger … Well, I’d like to say that its non-existent, but I think a little jealousy now and again is normal for most people. the most important thing is I don’t let it get to me anymore — I know where I stand and what I have, and I don’t have a fear that someone is going to usurp my position or take that away.

Now, the most difficult thing is simply not having enough of her, but as it is sometimes unavoidable, I cope.

3. What has been the best thing about your open relationship?

The best thing is my kitten can be a handful sometimes- I need help ;) But seriously, it has helped me grow I think, as just a person as well as a lover. Though these things could be simply *who* I’m dating, not a specific of the openness of our relationship.

4. Anything else you’d like to add?

10 years ago had you told me where I’d be today, who I’d be with, and *how* I’d be with them … I never would have believed you. and then had you told me I’d be completely happy … Wow.

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