Butcher & I are teaching an embodiment workshop in Seattle this week particularly geared toward kinksters. It’s a great introduction to some of the embodied sexuality and sacred sexuality work that I’ve done with the Body Electric School for many years, and plus it’s just a fascinating experiment. Perhaps I’ll see you there?
Photo by Shilo McCabe (but we’re not actually as serious or mean as we look)
Owning Your Birthday Suit: Embodiment for Kinksters, Freaks, and Other Sexual Mathletes
with Sugarbutch & Butcher
The Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex
1602 15th Ave W., Seattle, WA
RSVP on Facebook
Kinky, poly, leather, sex-positive, and other outlaw folks often find it easy to explore sex, but it might still be hard to be present in our bodies, to feel the powerful connection between genitals, heart, and mind. Explore a variety of playful experiential exercises to increase embodiment while respecting stone sexualities and everyone’s boundaries. Learn some simple tools to feel erotic energy, build connection to your desires, and feel more alive and at home in your body. Experience the taboo power of sharing this exploration within community. These exercises are clothes-on and touch optional. Amy Butcher and Sinclair Sexsmith met at a tantra retreat three years ago and have worked together for deeper embodiment and gender liberation ever since. They both study erotic energy and write smut.
It’s happening! Say Please readings and bookings have begun. So far, I have two dates:
April 12 – New York City at Bluestockings
April 22 – Boston, venue TBA
And a few more in progress, to be scheduled ASAP:
March 27 or April 1 – San Francisco
May 1/2 – Portland
May 3/7 – Seattle
I still don’t have dates for these, but I want to make it here in April/May:
If you’re interested in reading or helping me to create a reading in your city, please let me know ASAP! The easiest way for me to ensure that I can make it (especially to those three cities I have yet to book) is to get a gig at a college which can actually pay me. If you’ve got any contacts in these cities, please let me know.
Everything is happening in February. I hope you are excited to come out and see me, because I am going to be everywhere doing all the readings and workshops!
Events with Mr. Sexsmith
|Friday to Sunday, February 3-5||Celebrating the Body Erotic for Women through the Body Electric School. Did you know that “cunt” means “holy well”?||New York City. Contact me at [email protected] for more information.|
|Wednesday, February 8, show at 7pm||The Inspired Word performance series is excited to present a new event that will become a regular part of our calendar, Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose, featuring some of this city’s best GLBT writers/performers – Sinclair Sexsmith, Christa Orth, Ocean Vuong, Samantha Barrow, Kestryl Cael Lowery, Kelli Dunham, Brandon Lacy Campos, and Jessica Halem . In addition, there will be a 12-slot open mic (4 minutes each slot) to bring your own GLBT experience to the party. Must be GLBT themed. A night of transcendence of words through narrative, poetry, and humor. Hosted by Aimee Herman . Doors open for sign-up @ 6:30pm Show starts @ 7pm Cover Charge: $10 Read more here!||116 (formerly The Gaslight Cafe) 116 MacDougal Street (between Bleecker Street and Minetta Lane) Downstairs Lounge Manhattan, NY 10012 (212) 254-9996 (917) 703-1512 By subway, take the A, B, C, D, E, F to West 4th Street-Washington Square|
|Thursday, February 9, 7:30pm||Find a Valentine at the Best Erotica Reading! Celebrate ||Bluestockings Bookstore, 172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002, Lower East Side|
|Monday, February 13, 7:30pm||workshop at Columbia University! I think it’s Fucking With Gender||Columbia University, upstate Manhattan, NY|
|Thursday, February 16, 7pm||Owning Your Birthday Suit: Embodiment for Better Sex Sugarbutch & Butcher are at it again! Join us for this introductory workshop about embodiment. Kinky, poly, leather, sex-positive, and other outlaw folks often find it easy to explore sex, but it might still be hard to be present in our bodies, to feel the powerful connection between genitals, heart, and mind. Explore a variety of playful experiential exercises to increase embodiment while respecting stone sexualities and everyone’s boundaries. Learn some simple tools to feel erotic energy, build connection to your desires, and feel more alive and at home in your body. Experience the taboo power of sharing this exploration within community.|
Amy Butcher and Sinclair Sexsmith met at a tantra retreat three years ago and have worked together for deeper embodiment and gender liberation ever since. They both study erotic energy and write smut.
|The Center for Sex Positive Culture Annex|
|February 23, 7pm||American University workshop … I think it’s Fucking With Gender again||Washington, DC|
|February 28 & March 1||Workshop & Panel at Smith College!||Northampton, MA|
Events in New York City (& Beyond) You Shouldn’t Miss
|Saturday, February 11th, 7-11pm||BOXERS OFF! An Evening of Butch Burlesque–February Love Edition. Boxers Off! An Evening of Butch Burlesque invites you to join us as we explore representations of butch identity in a bold, new, sexy way. Lea Robinson emcees this evening of HOT burlesque from some of New York City’s finest performers! Who wouldn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day weekend with L Boogie and a few hot butches? Performers include the sexiness of Goldie Peacock, Drae Campbell/Miss Lez 2010, Elizabeth Whitney as Tricia Clayton Biltmore, Victoria Libertore as Liza, Ariel Speedwagon, Luscious Von Dykester, and Daddy T.Y.E.! Anna Charlotte will be here all the way from New Orleans to burn your britches! Stage Kittens for the evening will be Best Bites and Tom Cruiser. Join us for raffle fun, signature drinks, red light/green light, love advice, and of course your host L Boogie! A portion of the night’s proceeds will go to FIERCE, an organization building the leadership and power of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) youth of color in New York City!||Stonewall Inn, New York City. Admission $10|
|Friday, February 17, 8pm||Lesbian Sex Mafia: The Fine Art of Dirty Talk with Amy Jo Goddard Feeling shy about talking dirty? Have a lover who wishes you would, but you sometimes clam up or struggle with obstacles to saying those sweet nasty things? Wish you could open the door to dirty words without shame? This workshop will be a fun exploration of dirty talk, why we like it, what we want from it and how to incorporate it with partners and make our scenes hotter. There is no one size fits all, so you’ll explore and practice what feels good for you, how to find common ground with your partners, and walk away with a bigger dirty vocabulary. Attendees can decide how much to participate but it will be guaranteed fun! C’mon’ say it like you mean it!||LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave), Manhattan, NY|
|Saturday, February 25th, 10pm||Submit Party, submitparty.com, a BDSM play party for women and trans folks only. $15 before midnight, $20 after||Brooklyn, NY. For exact location call 718.789.4053 or email [email protected]|
|Thursday, March 1, 8pm||Red Umbrella Diaries, www.redumbrelladiaries.com||Happy Ending, 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge, Manhattan, NY|
|Saturday, March 3, 7pm||Queer Memoir: Leather. New York’s only queer storytelling event is back with a special guest curator, Sassafras Lowrey, editor of the Kicked Out anthology and nationally known storyteller. This Leather themed storytelling evening is a benefit for Boston’s Write Here Write Now founded by Toni Amato. Announcing the amazing line-up of storytellers: Sinclair Sexsmith, Emily Millay-Haddad, Kelli Dunham, Ignacio Rivera, Sara Vibes, on Facebook.||Queers For Economic Justice, 147 W. 24th St., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10011|
I’m booking gigs for the spring (February through May), and I’m aiming for Boston, Chicago, Atlanta, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Durham, DC, and more. Want to bring me to your college or university or local bookstore or sex toy shop? I’d love to visit! Things that are important to know!
- My schedule is kept up on mrsexsmith.com/appearances
- If you’re interested in bringing me to your town or college, check out what S. Bear Bergman wrote: Bear’s Guide to Getting the Artists You Want. It’s got some great tips for how to fundraise and make an offer to bring the people you admire to come do some custom work just for you & your friends. (Hint, hint.)
- Download my 2011 workshop offerings in a PDF or my one sheet PDF or high res photos in my press kit
- Get in touch if you’re interested in booking me, you can contact me directly—mrsexsmith(at)gmail—or my booking company, PhinLi, at bookings(at)phinli.com.
Any events I missed? Add ’em in the comments.
Get on the Monthly Sugarbutch Mailing List
Hello Internet! I’m still here. I posted very little in January because I spent most of that month working on the Celebrating the Body Erotic for women workshop which happened this last week in New York City. It was beautiful and moving and intense and heart-wrenching and I might’ve seen a vision while we were doing one of the breathing exercises and it went incredibly well and I’m glad it’s over. It was very time consuming.
And now I’m gearing up for basically a full month of travel. It’ll probably mean I’m posting less this month, too. In fact, I’ve been so busy that I can’t even seem to finish the February calendar to post here! I have a lot of gigs this month—Columbia University in NYC, American in DC, Smith College in Northampton, the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle—and I’m looking forward to them. I’ve been home since early December and I’m starting to get stir-crazy. I like that this little life I’ve been working on takes me other places. I love New York City (is that the first time I’ve said that? Possibly) but I can’t be here all the time. I start to feel so disconnected from the planet.
But I’m still kind of recovering from the workshop. All that energy work takes it out of me. Today, all I’d like to do is eat some dahl with spicy pickled mangoes and watch documentaries on the couch. I’ve given myself the last two days off, basically, to recover, and today it’s Back To Work time.
This week, before I go off to my travels, I’m doing two big readings in New York City. I haven’t really read poetry since Sideshow ended, and while I don’t have a ton of new poems to share, I am digging through my pieces and excited to get up and practice opening my heart on stage for a while. I love the Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 book so I’m looking forward to hearing more of those pieces out loud, and listening to some of the boys from Best Gay Erotica 2012 too. Plus, there will be a singles mixer! Come find a Valentine’s date.
I can’t seem to decide what to read tonight at the Queer Apple/Inspired Word event … I still have a few hours, so I’m gathering up the options. Looking over the poetry I’ve published here, there is certainly not too much that is recent. But I don’t mind dusting off some old pieces. Probably I’ll read the Butch Poem. Probably I’ll read The Right One. I’m not sure what else. Any requests?
Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose + Open Mic
The Inspired Word performance series is excited to present a new event that will become a regular part of our calendar, Queer Apple: NYC GLBT Life in Poetry & Prose, featuring some of this city’s best GLBT writers/performers – Sinclair Sexsmith, Christa Orth, Ocean Vuong, Samantha Barrow, Kestryl Cael Lowery, Kelli Dunham, Brandon Lacy Campos, and Jessica Halem. In addition, there will be a 12-slot open mic (4 minutes each slot) to bring your own GLBT experience to the party. Must be GLBT themed. A night of transcendence of words through narrative, poetry, and humor, hosted by Aimee Herman.
When: Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2012
Where: 116 (formerly The Gaslight Cafe)
116 MacDougal Street
(between Bleecker Street and Minetta Lane)
Manhattan, NY 10012
By subway, take the A, B, C, D, E, F to West 4th Street-Washington Square.
Doors open for sign-up @ 6:30pm
Show starts @ 7pm
Cover Charge: $10
RSVP on Facebook
Find a Valentine at the Best Erotica Reading
Need a valentine? Wear a heart if you’re single! Come hear some hot smut! Readers include: D.L. King, Ali Oh, Julia Noel Goldman, Anne Grip, James Earl Hardy and Greg Norris! More to come (so to speak).
7pm at Bluestockings Bookstore, Café, & Activist Center
172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002
Lower East Side
RSVP on Facebook
In Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, women are looking for a little bit of everything: love, lust, and that special someone who brings both to bed. Lammy-nominated editor Kathleen Warnock and this year’s guest judge, acclaimed sex blogger Sinclair Sexsmith, have curated a collection that is waiting to lay bare your deepest desires. Best Gay Erotica 2012 captures the tension and raw energy of man-on-man desire in this collection of the hottest, freshest and most literary erotic fiction of the year. Editor Richard Labonté (and guest judge Larry Duplechan) share their tricks of the trade in this outstanding volume of craftsmanship and cockmanship.
Based in New York City, KATHLEEN WARNOCK is a playwright and editor whose work has appeared in several editions of Best Lesbian Erotica.
SINCLAIR SEXSMITH (mrsexsmith.com) runs the award-winning project Sugarbutch Chronicles at sugarbutch.net. Her work appears in Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme and Take Me There: Transgender and Genderqueer Erotica, among others. She is the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica.
Megan Andelloux, who runs the Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health in Pawtucket, RI, and is one of my favorite sex educators, just launched a new project called What They Are Asking which features questions from students to sex educators, and some answers, too.
This project is a bit more 101 level than the things I usually focus on—butch and femme identity, radical masculinity, feminism and kink, topping and bottoming—but regardless, I’m looking forward to being part of this great selection of educators, which includes Buck Angel and Charlie Glickman, among others.
The press release:
Megan Andelloux, also known as “Oh Megan”, is proud to participate in a new project and website aimed at increasing awareness of the state of sexuality education in the United States, titled “What They Are Asking”. Born out of the experiences of adult sexuality educators, WTAA serves as a collective, community-driven response to the question, “Why do adults need sex education?” WTAA seeks to respond to important questions concerning the necessity of comprehensive sex education and highlights the ways that the United States’ lack of comprehensive sex education in youth leads to sexually misinformed adults.
First and foremost, the “What They Are Asking” web project involves the daily posting of three question cards, each featuring a question submitted anonymously during various adult sex education lectures and workshops throughout the country. These cards represent the vast multitude of concerns, issues, and questions adults have about sex and sexuality. According to Megan Andelloux, founder and director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and co-founder of WTAA, “Sharing [these questions] with a wider audience will let these authentic voices demonstrate the importance of our work as sexuality educators and the true need for quality, comprehensive sex education.”
The second component of WTAA is a fun, interactive educational component: viewers of WTAA will be able to vote on the question they would most like answered that week. Once the votes are tallied, a sexuality educator with relevant expertise will write or upload a video in response to the question with the most votes. The WTAA project will feature educators from many different components in the field of human sexuality, with specialties as gender, sexual medicine, relationships, self-esteem, and more.
Sexuality educators involved in “What They Are Asking” hope that this project will eventually go on to be used by policy makers to advocate for comprehensive sex education within both primary and secondary school systems.
Check it out: What They Are Asking.com
I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts folder for a week or so now, and I can’t figure out what to write to go along with Syd’s slideshow.
These are the photos from Cheryl’s memorial, B is for Beautiful, taken by Syd London, who is a dear friend of mine and who photographed me and Cheryl for Sideshow promotion, the first Sideshow, and the last Sideshow, as well as a few other significant shoots of Cheryl’s—like her lesbian headshaving ritual. So many, in fact, that Syd created an entire collection of Cheryl B. photo shoots on Flickr.
Emceeing the memorial was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I am so glad to have had some tantra and “holding space” training, because I totally cast a circle and grounded energy and did all of that. I wanted a container that could hold our grief, if even just for the afternoon. It was funny and fun and tragic and intense, just like Cheryl, and I think it was a really beautiful celebration of her life. Here’s what I read at the memorial.
Kelli submitted one of Syd’s shots to the New York Times “The Lives They Loved” series that is online and selectively printed in the NYT Magazine on Christmas annually, and submitted this shot of Cheryl, Kelli, Diana Cage, and me.
When my partner Cheryl B was diagnosed with hodgkin’s disease last fall and was preparing for chemo that would cause her to lose her beautiful black hair, a friend suggested a “good ol’ fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony.” We had friends over, made food, and shaved Cheryl’s head. There are many photos of Cheryl performing, engaged in political actions, organizing events. All these are important but I also want to remember her like this: loved, loving, happy, embracing the radical love of her chosen family and the queer (in a myriad of ways) community she had gathered around her.
If that’s not some radical infiltrating, I don’t know what is. And also, who else had photos of fishnets and cleavage? Amazing. Kelli tells the story about how she made the fact checker say “good ol’ fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony” no less than four times:
Young fact checker dude: So, it says “when Cheryl became ill with hodgkins, her friends suggested a good old fashioned lesbian headshaving ceremony?”
Me: Oh I am sorry, my dog was barking, could you repeat that last part? (no dog had barked)
YFCD: Good old fashioned lesbian head shaving?
Me: Oh shit, you know how iPhones are, you cut out, could you repeat that again?
YFCD: Good old fashioned (sigh) lesbian head shaving.
Me: Oh I’m sorry, I still didn’t catch it.
YFCD: Good. Old. Fashioned. Lesbian. Head. Shaving.
Me: Oh yeah, of course. Yes.
I can see Cheryl rolling her eyes, too, so easily, at that she had to die in order to get into the New York Times—but I think she would’ve been very pleased about this little write-up. And I think she would like Syd’s collection of the beautiful photos of her, with her big love Kelli and with friends and fans and community, and I think she would have loved the memorial.
Miss you, Cheryl. Every day.