Ask Me Anything: Strap-On Positions When Someone is Taller

Tuesday asked:

What’s your advice on positions that work for strap-on sex between people of very different heights? especially taller person receiving

Well, if your torsos are different lengths, especially if the one receiving is much taller, it’s going to be pretty difficult to be in the missionary position—or just about any position where you are strapped on and fucking and also simultaneously kissing (on the mouth) and holding each other close.

If your thigh heights are different, then fucking from behind on hands and knees is going to be difficult too. If both your torso and your thighs are different heights, it’ll be almost impossible to get into a position where your entire bodies are pressed up against each other and fucking at the same time.

There are still many other positions you can fuck easily in, but that one is going to be hard, maybe impossible.

Try these:

1. Strap on wearer (giver) seated, receiver on top, straddling

2. Receiver bent over a bed which is at the giver’s hip height

3. Receiver with their knees tucked under them, but leaning forward, so they can hold themselves up at the right height by their thighs; giver behind them

4. Giver on their knees, with the receiver on the bed (or floor or etc) on their back, receiver’s thighs up over giver’s knees; giver stays upright. (I particularly like this one for rough and deep penetration because I can grab on to their thighs and move them against me.)

You may just have to try any or every position, until you find a few that seem to work most of the time, and go for those. Try glancing through one of those positions for sex books—you probably don’t need to buy it, just glance through it—and see if any of them strike you.

You also might want to think about getting some sex furniture. They’re much more solid than regular bedroom pillows, and the microsuade material means that you don’t slip or slide. Sometimes those are excellent for angles and positioning, it might be worth trying (though they are expensive). Take a look at the Liberator Wedge, Ramp (which is the best for multiple positions), or the Ramp & Wedge combo.

Anyone else have suggestions?

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is “the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queer women” (AfterEllen), who “is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places” (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself. Follow all their personal writings and all the updates through patreon.com/mrsexsmith.

4 thoughts on “Ask Me Anything: Strap-On Positions When Someone is Taller”

  1. Making Space says:

    That’s cool that women actually think of this as an issue to be worked through. As a recent refugee from hetworld, I can say that though height differences are common between opposite-sex partners, the notion that there might be something you can do to make it better for the woman (or that the person who is not the woman would care about that) is very new to me. Maybe it’s a woman thing.

    Glad I am to be here instead of there now. Phew.

  2. J says:

    Thank you for this post! So helpful – have been starting to talk about strap on sex with my male partner, who is much taller than me, and this is something I have been wondering about how to tackle!

    I’m going to be nervous enough learning to wield a cock of my own, so this advice helps :)

    J.

  3. H. says:

    My boyfriend is more than six inches shorter than I am, and one tiny thing that I find helps a lot during strap-on sex in missionary (which we don’t actually have that hard a time with) is me having a couple pillows under my head. Brings our faces closer for kissing, which is, like, half the point of missionary.

  4. Tuesday says:

    Thanks :) We just bought a swing and I am looking forward to seeing if it helps (oh yes I am!)

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