S. Bear Bergman: Mini-Interview

January 7, 2011  |  on butches

Writer, performer, activist. www.sbearbergman.com

1. What is your relationship with the word or identity “butch?”

Butch was the first way I ever really felt seen, or desired. Butch is how I was recognized, and it’s how I was made. I love many of the ways of butchness, and even the ones I really do not love I can at least understand. The part of me that is a butch – not a butch lesbian or a butch woman but a butch as its own whole and true thing – is both the toughest and the tenderest part.

2. What kind of words and labels, if any, do you use to identify yourself?

I identify as queer, transmasculine, and as a butch; as a husband and father; as a Jew, and as a storyteller.

3. What do you wish you could tell your younger self about sex, sexuality, or gender?

Calm down. You don’t need to know, or do, or try, or be, or have everything sorted out right now. There’s time, and being patient will make you less annoying.

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1 Comment


  1. I love this, and feel it for myself as well, “is both the toughest and the tenderest part.”

    I also love the advice to your younger self. There is time, and being patient and not so annoying is a very good thing.

    Anyone else envision a collection of these snippets of advice as something we could offer to our younger community members?

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