Comments on: Get a Dominant to Dominate http://www.sugarbutch.net/2010/07/get-a-dominant-to-dominate/ The sex, gender, and relationship adventures of a kinky queer butch top Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:09:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: randy http://www.sugarbutch.net/2010/07/get-a-dominant-to-dominate/comment-page-1/#comment-12242 randy Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:17:11 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=5261#comment-12242 This was poking in my head today or last night, as there's a pose in Second Life for women, standing, with arms held behind the person's (avatar's) back and legs crossed I think. It looks totally vanilla, but you could slip up behind them and grab their wrists, slip on cuffs without moving them out of position. Body language. So to answer the question, simply accentuate that body language... ;-) This was poking in my head today or last night, as there's a pose in Second Life for women, standing, with arms held behind the person's (avatar's) back and legs crossed I think.

It looks totally vanilla, but you could slip up behind them and grab their wrists, slip on cuffs without moving them out of position.

Body language.

So to answer the question, simply accentuate that body language… ;-)

]]> By: randy http://www.sugarbutch.net/2010/07/get-a-dominant-to-dominate/comment-page-1/#comment-12233 randy Wed, 14 Jul 2010 13:05:22 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=5261#comment-12233 Ums, the same things that get a partner in a vanilla relationship to portray their behaviors? Not to be trite, but a Dr. Philism is "people respond to your actions". As many ways as there are of performing vanilla seduction, with some things working better for certain individuals than others, so it goes with D/s interactions. Heck, I was once involved with a switch, so imagine how to get one to feel more dominant while at the same time getting the other to feel more submissive, or vice-versa depending on moods. You know what? It was never tricky at all! Some things just come naturally. Which is why, IMO, it's hard to answer, because it totally depends on the personal relationship and there are no hard fast answers to that question. Sure there are stereotypes, but practicing them might not elicit the result you were expecting, but then, if you always received expected results, it would be pretty boring now wouldn't it? ;-) Ums, the same things that get a partner in a vanilla relationship to portray their behaviors?

Not to be trite, but a Dr. Philism is "people respond to your actions".

As many ways as there are of performing vanilla seduction, with some things working better for certain individuals than others, so it goes with D/s interactions.

Heck, I was once involved with a switch, so imagine how to get one to feel more dominant while at the same time getting the other to feel more submissive, or vice-versa depending on moods.

You know what? It was never tricky at all! Some things just come naturally.

Which is why, IMO, it's hard to answer, because it totally depends on the personal relationship and there are no hard fast answers to that question.

Sure there are stereotypes, but practicing them might not elicit the result you were expecting, but then, if you always received expected results, it would be pretty boring now wouldn't it? ;-)

]]> By: Miss Avarice http://www.sugarbutch.net/2010/07/get-a-dominant-to-dominate/comment-page-1/#comment-12231 Miss Avarice Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:08:07 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=5261#comment-12231 I would suggest that it would be helpful to have a signal to indicate the submissive's desire for domination. I suggested a piece of jewelry or clothing that is reserved only for those moments. It's low pressure because the sub isn't asking directly and the Dominant can choose to acknowledge the submissive's desire or not. Another suggestion for people in a more "old guard" situation might be a particular kneeling posture. I definitely like the idea of the submissive addressing the Dominant's stress, needs and frustrations before bringing up the things they want. That seems more like a proper behavior for a submissive. It's important to mention that for all the suggestions noted in the podcast will be useless if the relationship does not have a firm foundation where both parties feel safe and free to communicate fears and desires... in fact any relationship should include lots of check-ins and negotiation. I would suggest that it would be helpful to have a signal to indicate the submissive's desire for domination. I suggested a piece of jewelry or clothing that is reserved only for those moments. It's low pressure because the sub isn't asking directly and the Dominant can choose to acknowledge the submissive's desire or not. Another suggestion for people in a more "old guard" situation might be a particular kneeling posture. I definitely like the idea of the submissive addressing the Dominant's stress, needs and frustrations before bringing up the things they want. That seems more like a proper behavior for a submissive. It's important to mention that for all the suggestions noted in the podcast will be useless if the relationship does not have a firm foundation where both parties feel safe and free to communicate fears and desires… in fact any relationship should include lots of check-ins and negotiation.

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