Actually, in writing this, I've come to realize that "Spectrum banging" characterizes most of my life stages, from prepubescent, to emerging sexuality, to now.

As an adult I can now say that spectrum banging is useful to me in that I have been on both sides and many points in the middle, which as a human allows me to connect to more people than before, since I can meet them at a familiar point.

Useful little phrase!

I love opposites. I love both ends of the spectrum (many, many spectrums), and will thus often swoop back and forth between them.

Re: Spectrum vs. 3+D models

A friend of mine recently asked why I was characterizing my most recent stage of spiritual development as "grey" – a merging of black and white, ego and shadow, etc – rather than an array of all colors. I explained that that's how it works in the crayon box – and it's true. My deep self thinks in Crayola terms, not the physics of light, so it's what makes sense. But even more so, the spectrum is *manageable* – and banging around on it has let/will let me get to a point where I can branch off of the linear spectrum onto the whole great color wheel. I *know* there's a whole multi-dimensional world of and in myself – but I needed to deal with something a bit simpler, for now.

When I first found out that transition was possible I embraced manly masculinity like never before. My doctors all thought my 'presentation' was top notch, and it made it really easy to get on hormones etc. I had permission, nay, INCENTIVE to be as manly as I wanted for the first time in my life and it was AWESOME.

For about 2 months. Then I banged up against the wall, and wandered back to somewhere like my 'natural' gender. Which is kinda hyper-butch, hyper-femme, in a queer way. No one can tell if I'm a butch dyke or a sissy fag, these days. All they know when they look at me is that I'm some kinda queer!

I don't like the idea of a gender spectrum much, but it is a useful way of explaining it to people.

- Step one, get them to disconnect biological gender (aka sex) and presentation/identity

- Step two, The newbie usually comes up with this concept of a spectrum themselves at this point, and shooting them down isn't helpful. Explain the idea of someone being able to move along the 'spectrum' that they are now imagining gender is.

- Step three, introduce the idea that someone could inhabit multiple points on that 'spectrum' simultaneously. Concrete examples are helpful. (Effeminate bears? Jock twinks? Lipstick lesbians? Butches who do girl drag? What ever they are most familiar with)

- Step four, point out that perhaps a 'spectrum' isn't the most useful analogy for gender if people can inhabit multiple points at once.

Thats my tactic anyway. :)

I usually see most things as an array–particularly things like gender, where you can be more or less masculine AND also more or less feminine. They aren't exclusive nor inclusive so don't fit well on a spectrum.

A speculum otoh…well that only helps sometimes.

like the way bold contrasts stand out more than grey areas

Spectrum banging also really defines my coming out. I was a late bloomer and I'm pretty sure managed to catch up on 20 years of gay culture in one year. I went from being a "straight" socially conservative home-schooled kid to an outgoing lesbian sadomasochist that helps run sex parties in a very short amount of time.