Comments on: Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/ The sex, gender, and relationship adventures of a kinky queer butch top Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:09:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Review: Unleashing Feminism « Feelers Out http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10745 Review: Unleashing Feminism « Feelers Out Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:55:54 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10745 [...] Sexsmith explored the idea of consent and agency in the post “Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top”, in which he discusses coming to terms with being masculine, queer, butch, sadistic, a top, and a [...] [...] Sexsmith explored the idea of consent and agency in the post “Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top”, in which he discusses coming to terms with being masculine, queer, butch, sadistic, a top, and a [...]

]]> By: e[lust] #4 : Tales from the Porn Store http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10616 e[lust] #4 : Tales from the Porn Store Tue, 26 Jan 2010 04:24:35 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10616 [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...] [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...]

]]> By: e[lust] #4 (I lust for e-lust!) « Strapped In Silk http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10429 e[lust] #4 (I lust for e-lust!) « Strapped In Silk Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:51:36 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10429 [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...] [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...]

]]> By: Violence and BDSM « How My Other Half Lives http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10383 Violence and BDSM « How My Other Half Lives Tue, 05 Jan 2010 02:15:04 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10383 [...] intention is not to inflict harm or even pain most of the time. Sinclair Sexsmith wrote a fantastic post the tension between her feminist ideals and sexual desires. She articulates this concept far better [...] [...] intention is not to inflict harm or even pain most of the time. Sinclair Sexsmith wrote a fantastic post the tension between her feminist ideals and sexual desires. She articulates this concept far better [...]

]]> By: Bad Bad Girl » e[lust] #4 http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10340 Bad Bad Girl » e[lust] #4 Sun, 03 Jan 2010 04:55:19 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10340 [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...] [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...]

]]> By: This Could Be Dangerous… » Blog Archive » e[lust] #4 http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10337 This Could Be Dangerous… » Blog Archive » e[lust] #4 Sun, 03 Jan 2010 03:21:16 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10337 [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...] [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...]

]]> By: Links of Great Interest 1/1/10 | The Hathor Legacy http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10328 Links of Great Interest 1/1/10 | The Hathor Legacy Fri, 01 Jan 2010 17:32:10 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10328 [...] Are feminism and kink and mutually exclusive? [...] [...] Are feminism and kink and mutually exclusive? [...]

]]> By: e[lust] #3 at Diary of a Kinky Librarian http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10320 e[lust] #3 at Diary of a Kinky Librarian Fri, 01 Jan 2010 02:46:44 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10320 [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...] [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...]

]]> By: e[lust] #4 « They Belong To Us http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10318 e[lust] #4 « They Belong To Us Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:28:13 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10318 [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top - There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...] [...] Reconciling the Identities of Feminist & Butch Top – There’s something supposedly anti-feminist about wanting to dominate. There’s something in the feminist rhetoric which says we are all equal especially in bed, so that means I-do-you-you-do-me…. [...]

]]> By: Sascha http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/reconciling-the-identities-of-feminist-butch-top/comment-page-1/#comment-10322 Sascha Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:37:13 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=4111#comment-10322 I know *so* many tops and doms who have gone through similar experiences. You beautifully conveyed that struggle between one's desires and conceptions of behavior and violence. I found your comment that being dominant is antifeminist fascinating. As someone who mostly bottoms/submits, I've come across my own conflicts with my feminism. After all, feminism is about empowerment and women taking control of their own lives. What feminist worth their salt would willingly relinquish control? On the other hand, feminism is about choice, and the ability for all female born people to choose the path that feels right to them. As backwards as this sounds, I find great power in submission. It sounds like you've found something similar in your butch top identity. Isn't power through choice what generations of feminists fought for to begin with? It's a difficult and complicated identity to reconcile. For me, I choose to find power in myself and facilitate a similar journey for others. And if the manner of my approach ruffles a few feminist feathers, so be it. Thank you for this piece. I know *so* many tops and doms who have gone through similar experiences. You beautifully conveyed that struggle between one's desires and conceptions of behavior and violence.

I found your comment that being dominant is antifeminist fascinating.

As someone who mostly bottoms/submits, I've come across my own conflicts with my feminism. After all, feminism is about empowerment and women taking control of their own lives.

What feminist worth their salt would willingly relinquish control?

On the other hand, feminism is about choice, and the ability for all female born people to choose the path that feels right to them. As backwards as this sounds, I find great power in submission. It sounds like you've found something similar in your butch top identity. Isn't power through choice what generations of feminists fought for to begin with?

It's a difficult and complicated identity to reconcile. For me, I choose to find power in myself and facilitate a similar journey for others. And if the manner of my approach ruffles a few feminist feathers, so be it.

Thank you for this piece.

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