Review: The Big Cock

I don’t know if this sucker has another name. I’ve just been calling it The Big Cock. Because, well:

bigcock bigcock2

You see, when you write about sex on the Internets, sometimes people send you things. And I came home to this big ol’ box one day about a month ago and um. omg. #sixteeninchcockfail.

Yes, that’s what I said. SIXTEEN INCHES. and 2.5″ in girth.

I kind of thought I could do (ridiculous, campy) a photo shoot with this thing, before it arrived, but when I saw it? No. No way.

I like a big ol’ thick cock as much as the next cockcentric guy, but the size is just ridiculous. It can’t possibly be usable! Plus, it’s a bad material, smells like that awful plastic. So then the question was, of course, what the heck do I DO with it?

So, of course, I asked the Hive Mind, aka Twitter. (Read chronologically from the bottom up.)

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And what do you know! Sending The Big Cock to Courtney Trouble and seeing it possibly make its debut in a porn film seemed like a PERFECT thing to do with it! I wouldn’t get to use it, or be photographed with it, but I think I can easily give up that dream. I don’t think it made its way all the way to California in time for her October 9th shoot (that Jiz Lee mentioned), but perhaps it’ll be in something else. It’s WAY more likely to get used sitting around her place than it is sitting around mine.

So, bye-bye, Big Cock. I hope you find a good new home.

Thanks to sextoy.com for sending me The Big Cock to review. Buy other bondage and kink sex toys through sextoy.com.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

4 thoughts on “Review: The Big Cock”

  1. lady brett says:

    oh my…

    you are all hilarious (that thing is hilarious). i kind of dug the signed "souvenir" idea. and i think it's cute how practical g's suggestions were. but it's always nice to find things a good home where they'll be wanted, in the end ;)

  2. dallaskink says:

    'So, bye-bye, Big Cock. I hope you find a good new home.'

    – this is not a collection of words I expected to read today, and it almost made me spit my tea I laughed so hard.

  3. zoe says:

    violet's comment pretty much made my day.

  4. tony says:

    a friend of mine has a big rubber double-headed dildo that is about that long. it makes an AMAZING impact play toy :)

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