Cocks & Harnesses Recommendations

September 4, 2009  |  advice, cock confidence, reviews

This arrived in my inbox recently:

Dear Sinclair,

I’m transgendered so when I strap although some of the cocks are tempting to buy, I’m not very comfortable with unnatural colors and shapes. I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of a good sized, nice material, and realistic looking cock and a nice and masculine harness. I’ve seen some on your blogs that sound good but i wanted a more personal opinion from someone that actually knows what they’re talking about.

– J

And this isn’t the first time someone has asked me this kind of thing. I write about cocks & harnesses all the time here, but sometimes I think it’s probably a challenge to figure out what it is I’m really using, and what I use often.

So here’s what I wrote back:

I’m glad to throw some ideas your way. Sorry to say, you’re going to have to invest some money in a really nice cock. The ones that are realistic and high-quality are freakin’ expensive. But, the good news is, there are some really good ones available. I totally know what you mean about unnatural colors and shapes, they make me uncomfortable too.

The #1 absolute best realistic cocks out there are by Vixen Creations, their line called Vixskin. The material is some sort of silicone (so it is completely 100% sterilizable) that is made to feel like “cyberskin,” which is the most realistic material on the market. It’s a little bit squishy but still hard. Feels *great*, I highly recommend it. They have lots of different sizes (my #1 very favorite is the Maverick (Babeland calls it the Rodeo Rick) that is 7″x2″) and they all come in chocolate, caramel, or vanilla colors, depending on how light or dark you want the flesh tone to be.

The other great thing about Vixen is that they have a lifetime guarantee. That doesn’t cover “misuse” but if it does break down, they’ll replace it. They’re all in the $100 range, so you might have to save up a bit, but they’ll literally last you a lifetime and they are so worth it.

Most of the sex positive, feminist, queer sex toy shops carry Vixskin, like Good Vibes, Babeland, Blowfish, etc. You might want to actually go to one of those places and check out their sizes, hold them in your hands, all that, to feel what feels most like *yours*.

Harnesses … there are two that seem to be the most popular & famous: the Jaguar (leather, though they also have a vegan one, by Aslan) and the Joque Spare Parts

The Joque & the Jaguar are not *my* personal favorites, actually, mostly because I really prefer the one-strap harnesses, though it seems like most people don’t. I like the commando, and also the Jaguar G, which is the G-string version of the same Jaguar. the leather is SO beautiful and soft and buttery and I just love the design, super comfortable and incredibly hot. Same as with the cocks, it’ll be about a $100 investment, but Aslan Leather (and some of the other nice harness makers too) come with a lifetime guarantee, like Vixen does, so the investment is totally worth it.

– Sinclair

Got a question for me about cocks, harnesses, strapping it on, or something else? Email me – aspiringstud [at] gmail.com – or leave a comment and I’ll get back to you as well as I can.

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3 Comments


  1. As someone who recently bought his first Vixskin cock with realism in mind, a reflection on the skin tones (in case you're buying online and have no opportunity to see them in person)…

    I'm a middling-complected Caucasian (closer to Mediterranean than Nordic, but I'm definitely not anywhere close to "swarthy"), and the "caramel" colour very nearly matches my skin tone. For what that's worth.

  2. i own the Lonestar. my gf reports it as unexpectedly exciting to her because its color (the vanilla) seems to match my fair skin pretty well, esp. in natural lighting. seems the sight of it strapped on and being so very realistic looking & feeling pushes the right “this is incongruous, and yet also oddly thrilling” buttons in her. i like looking down as seeing the cock hanging down – the sucker is heavier than the rest of our toys!

    my favorite harness is Clyde by Outlaw Leather (http://www.outlawseattle.com/clyde.htm) it’s only the second one i’ve ever owned, but it’s done a fine, fine job over many happily well-ridden miles. it rides the cock low on your pubic bone, and is able to accommodate double-ended dildos, or two dildos back to back.

  3. do you have recommendations for harnesses that are less expensive as a way of finding out how into the strap-on thing you are before making the hundred buck investment?

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