Comments on: A Butch Roadmap

By: Top Hot Butches #21, #17, and #6 – Sugarbutch Chronicles

Top Hot Butches #21, #17, and #6 – Sugarbutch Chronicles — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:31:01 +0000

[...] a minute to read Hats Off To Beautiful Femmes, a bit of a follow up to Ivan’s recent Butch Roadmap column. And happy birthday, Ivan! AKPC_IDS += [...]

By: Frances

Frances — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:49:46 +0000

Thank you for re-posting this.

It's kjnd of a bummer that we are so prone to eating ourselves and each other that every major queer writer has to say this exact thing in some way or other.

Ah well. Ivan says it beautifully. There's always that.

By: treesa

treesa — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:29:52 +0000

I love hearing about folks' inner journeys and personal definitions when it comes to sex, gender, presentation, etc so I found this interesting, especially as a panamorous woman recently discovering that her "issues" are more with men than massculinity…. (Or vice versa? Bleh.)

And as a writer, this whole piece just made me go WOW–the timing, the anecdotes, the diction! Perfect.

Thanks for sharing, Sinclair :) Can't wait for yours, if you come up with one I (and others, I'm sure) would love to hear it!

By: sam

sam — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:34:25 +0000

Slowly falling in love with this guy. Rawrrrrr.

By: gajasimha

gajasimha — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 10:45:10 +0000

LOL for the small children! Being asked out of the blue, "Teacher, are you a boy or a girl?" was one of my best moments.

I know how important it is to have butch folks to look up to. I was blessed with them when I was a kid. Being a positive role model to kids of all genders is front and center in my roadmap.

By: Robin Gordon

Robin Gordon — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:28:36 +0000

The word for me is butch. It is a shout, a proclamation, a promise and a touchstone. It isn’t just ok it is proud, it is affirmative. It is me no longer defined by what I am not, what other people consider lacking: from forever I was not dainty, not pretty, not a lady, not straight, not passing, not even womynly, not not not. I am deliberately visible, and in the next minute not what you expect. I love to go to the barbershop, I love to pull my thin leather wallet out of my back pocket, I get called sir almost daily in public. I paint my toenails blue, work a whisk better than a drill and love to discuss the best name for an unusual colour.

But all that is scenery. My butch roadmap directions simply read: love women, respect them, give them attention, make them feel special. Dig deep into the muck of masculinity and pull out that spark that is about the art of cherishing women who create themselves out of and in spite of the muck of femininity.

I hope to meet you on the road.

By: Fox

Fox — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:03:27 +0000

To my roadmap, I would add: welcome the small children and their questions and remarks with a wide smile and a wink. They know something most grown-ups don't.

Although the adults have pointed several times to the kids where I work that "I'm really a lady" and told them my first name just so they would accept what the grown-ups see as a fact and, the kids keep calling me "mister Fanny" when they see me. Oh and I witnessed the girls and the boys debating the subject with passion, the girls stating proudly that I'm really a girl, and the boys insisting that I'm actually part of their team…

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:33:52 +0000

Yes! Came across this last week, and it had me welling up and laughing at the same time.

LOVE it.

By: alphafemme

alphafemme — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:01:07 +0000

on my femme roadmap:

embrace your femme-/femininity and make your own beauty. there will always be those who tell you that wearing heels, shaving your legs, getting your nails done are anti-feminist, are letting patriarchy dictate our selves and the ways we feel beautiful. but accepting that as truth is allowing something *else* to dictate our selves and our identities. listen only to your own soul, only you can know how best to be yourself.