I’m reminded in all this of the importance of BOTH the people who make queers look normal and respectable – Lt. Daniel Choi on Rachel Maddow, the plaintiffs in the marriage equality cases – and the sex/gender radicals. We need to comprehensively rethink family, gender, and sexuality, but we also need the people who stand one tiny step outside the mainstream. It’d be nice to have a movement where those people can be allies. I’m afraid it’s often hard for the people near the mainstream to recognize what they owe to radicals and rioters, though, because it threatens their own position to draw those alliances.

and yeah, there's tons of work still to be done. MassEquality is a good example of a gay-marriage-focused group that managed to retrench and change focus when equal marriage was recognized here in MA; now they work on advocacy in general for the LGBTQI etc. community at large, and they lend their organizing capacity to other groups as well. we should not let these groups die — perhaps one of the things we can do is expand the reach to include other marginalized communities, whose needs and populations often overlap with ours — immigrants, communities of color, educational advocacy groups…

We have a phenomenally long way to go worldwide in addressing queer issues, but it is one giant step forward. It makes me want to push forward rather than sit on my laurels and think all is good in the equality rose garden.

I hope the rest of your states follow suit soon.

but i very, very much agree with you about getting our gay priorities straight.

(p.s. equality is surely a better thing, but does that really make conformity a bad thing?)