Comments on: Butch/femme in various cities

By: Lucia

Lucia — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 09:36:03 +0000

Manhattan.

B/F is here for sure!

Lots of activities, I would say join a List serve or the Butch / Femme social List on Yahoo…..for stuff that is always going on!

Lots of age variance which is nice but still lots of younger folks coming up… lol

or should I say going down…lol

Lucia

Butch Loving Femme

manhattan

By: blckndblue

blckndblue — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:56:25 +0000

I live in Chicago, and it’s ok. A-ville is nicely queer, and there are a lot of resources. But if you are a pervert, there is a dearth of women/queer-only kink scenes. I would move to Brooklyn or Seattle based on the women-only kink scenes alone.

By: kitcat

kitcat — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:26:47 +0000

Wow, tons of geat cities. It's making me want to move now. Sascha, just avoid West Michigan whatever you do!! Zero gay culture at all. And frankly I think I would be shot if I even held my girl's hand in public, let alone go to a bar or something. Best of luck to you!!

By: Carrot

Carrot — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:01:36 +0000

I live in portland, and if you're looking for queers, it's goddam big rock candy mountain here. Every goddam person in the whole goddam city is queer. There are like fifty million queer dance nights a week. TONS of butches, femmes, ftms, and everything in between. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. There's so much queer, you almost get cynical about it! The downside of portland- USED to be cheap, becoming overpriced faster than you can say "gentrification", one out of three people you meet JUST moved here, and there are NO jobs. N O N E. AND, it's the whitest major city in america. Sort of a theme park for privilege. So take that into account, for sure.

Here's a tip- why not check out the W4W board on craigslist for cities you're thinking of moving too? That might give you some idea of what's out there.

By: Sascha

Sascha — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:23:12 +0000

Once again, thanks for all the feedback! And thanks to sinclair for posting this! Keep it coming….

By: ekgfrompdx

ekgfrompdx — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:12:42 +0000

Wow! East coast domination, for sure!

Portland Oregon is the BEST city for queers! And the east side is the best of all (but we live in every neighborhood). Half the checkers at my local grocery store are queer (aka "The Gay Fred Meyer"), there are lesbian dance nights at several clubs every month, lesbian and gay bars, all kinds of activities and groups, and very very inclusive people! Looking for butches? How about the Lesbian Community Project annual softball tournament? HUNDREDS of hot butch women! Like to snowshoe, sing in a chorus, play sports, go on hikes, walk your dog with a group of lesbians? Join the PDX Lesbian Network.

I'm telling you, we have it all here in Portland! And, it's the West Coast….

By: freedomgirl

freedomgirl — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:19:34 +0000

Chiming in again to say that while Northampton rocks, it's REALLY a small town. I's got just one downtown area of shops and restaurants; outside of the center the houses are frequently set on several acres — rural is the word that comes to mind. It's quite close to Springfield and not far from Worcester, but neither of those have much nightlife to speak of.

If you like to hike/farm/garden, Northampton's a great place to be, but you might find its smallness a bit claustrophobic if you're looking to build a new community. I don't live there though, so I can't say for sure.

And wow, I didn't expect so much Boston love…I'm glad others share my experience of openness and support here.

Definitely let me know when you're in town visiting!

By: Joy

Joy — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 15:11:55 +0000

Another Seattleite here and I would agree with Sinclair that we definitely have a FTM/genderqueer presence more than a traditional butch presence, although I'm sure there are butches around too. While I would agree with Seattlefemme in that people don’t generally get dressed up to go out, there are places/nights that more pronounced gender expression is common.

If you're a femme looking for andro/genderqueer/transguy, you should definitely at least consider Seattle. In terms of the other things of interest: weather (generally light but fairly frequent rain with lovely summers), affordability (higher COL but depends on your choices), public transit (pretty good bus system with lightrail coming this year) Seattle is a good place to live in my opinion. In terms of top priority as a place to find a partner, friends, and a stimulating queer community, Seattle is a great place to live, again, in my opinion.

Good luck with your decision!

By: Becky

Becky — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 13:33:02 +0000

Thanks, Casey! I was going to plug Chicago, but you said it best. Andersenville is about as gay as it gets. The whole city is really fantastic about the issues and there are enough of us around that you don't feel like the odd one out. It's a fantastic city for the non-gay in you too: fantastic recreation, culture, etc. I love Chicago and wouldn't live anywhere else.

By: Sapphicslave

Sapphicslave — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:10:07 +0000

I live in Sacramento, Ca and have been frustrated with the small butch population here, but I found a website that helped a little. Go to Meetup.com, I found a group (there may be one in your area, or whatever area you choose to relocate to) that is specifically for lesbians who embrace the butch/femme dynamic. These are the ones that dont go out to the clubs, but would rather meet with real people and do real things, not just go out, get drunk and party. This group has helped me meet a lot of butch women who I never would have known otherwise, and meet other femme's that i've become friends with. Good luck and I hope this helps!