Comments on: Define: The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/ The sex, gender, and relationship adventures of a kinky queer butch top Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:09:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Amygdala http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-10601 Amygdala Sun, 24 Jan 2010 05:02:24 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-10601 My sister sent me the link to this entry because I talked to her about exactly this topic a couple of days ago. I think it is fascinating that obviously I'm not the only one experiencing this weird thing. I have a really hard time finding the right.. well.. let's call it "lesbian identity". I have no clue if I'm attracted to butches or if I want to be one and that kind of drives me insane. And I don't even understand how I can not know which one it is! Ah, well, I guess time will show and untill then I'll just do what feels right to me at that moment.. My sister sent me the link to this entry because I talked to her about exactly this topic a couple of days ago. I think it is fascinating that obviously I'm not the only one experiencing this weird thing. I have a really hard time finding the right.. well.. let's call it "lesbian identity". I have no clue if I'm attracted to butches or if I want to be one and that kind of drives me insane. And I don't even understand how I can not know which one it is! Ah, well, I guess time will show and untill then I'll just do what feels right to me at that moment..

]]> By: Review: Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels (DVD) – Sugarbutch Chronicles http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-8579 Review: Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels (DVD) – Sugarbutch Chronicles Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:10:44 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-8579 [...] I was thrilled by it when I popped in the DVD and saw the familiar opening scene. You know how some movies are just forever embedded in your consciousness? Yeah, this one is. I studied the sex scenes with Jackie, though I wasn’t certain wy she fascinated me so much. Did I want to do her or be her? [...] [...] I was thrilled by it when I popped in the DVD and saw the familiar opening scene. You know how some movies are just forever embedded in your consciousness? Yeah, this one is. I studied the sex scenes with Jackie, though I wasn’t certain wy she fascinated me so much. Did I want to do her or be her? [...]

]]> By: Top 100 hottest butches! « Princess Baby Dyke http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-8238 Top 100 hottest butches! « Princess Baby Dyke Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:10:54 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-8238 [...] Ah, Dr. Maddow: in the past six months she has put butch chic in the New York Times Magazine, made geek sexy, and made people everywhere wish we were a cocktail shaker. I won’t even go into the whole Rhodes Scholar, PhD, amateur mixologist details – it’s enough to give me a major do-be-do-be complex. [...] [...] Ah, Dr. Maddow: in the past six months she has put butch chic in the New York Times Magazine, made geek sexy, and made people everywhere wish we were a cocktail shaker. I won’t even go into the whole Rhodes Scholar, PhD, amateur mixologist details – it’s enough to give me a major do-be-do-be complex. [...]

]]> By: New music from the old staple – Sugarbutch Chronicles http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6751 New music from the old staple – Sugarbutch Chronicles Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:36:41 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6751 [...] I still remember the first time I watched the video for Closer to Fine, my mind blew a bit. I couldn’t stop watching Amy’s delicious swagger and it definitely took me a while to figure out that I wanted to be her, not do her. [...] [...] I still remember the first time I watched the video for Closer to Fine, my mind blew a bit. I couldn’t stop watching Amy’s delicious swagger and it definitely took me a while to figure out that I wanted to be her, not do her. [...]

]]> By: Pugs http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6498 Pugs Thu, 19 Feb 2009 08:30:34 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6498 Sinclair, I believe you've been going to therapy with me. My therapist swears (and I mostly agree) that every woman I have dated or had a crush on is because I want to BE them. Maybe. All I know is that I start out admiring the hell out of my crush and wish I could be more like her. But as time goes by and the infatuation wears off, I see beneath her veneer and think my own depth and substance are better for me. Sinclair, I believe you've been going to therapy with me. My therapist swears (and I mostly agree) that every woman I have dated or had a crush on is because I want to BE them. Maybe. All I know is that I start out admiring the hell out of my crush and wish I could be more like her. But as time goes by and the infatuation wears off, I see beneath her veneer and think my own depth and substance are better for me.

]]> By: curliegirl http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6492 curliegirl Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:54:28 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6492 I love this term! It very aptly describes how I felt when I was first attracted to women and trying to figure out if I was gay or not.... Was I developing 'girl crushes' cuz I wanted to be like them or because I wanted to do them? I finally came to the (oh-so-right) decision that I am a lesbian... but the situation continued to get muddled with my first girlfriend. Was I narcissistic for wanting to date/sleep with a girl? A girl who happened to have the same body type, eye and hair color, and outgoing personality as I do? Whoever said "do i want to be like her or be with her... the answer is both" has the right idea. Why can't it be both? Aren't you attracted to someone partly because they possess traits you admire? and desire? I love this term! It very aptly describes how I felt when I was first attracted to women and trying to figure out if I was gay or not…. Was I developing 'girl crushes' cuz I wanted to be like them or because I wanted to do them? I finally came to the (oh-so-right) decision that I am a lesbian… but the situation continued to get muddled with my first girlfriend. Was I narcissistic for wanting to date/sleep with a girl? A girl who happened to have the same body type, eye and hair color, and outgoing personality as I do?

Whoever said "do i want to be like her or be with her… the answer is both" has the right idea. Why can't it be both? Aren't you attracted to someone partly because they possess traits you admire? and desire?

]]> By: queerboi http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6491 queerboi Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:34:36 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6491 this is something i think about a fair bit, especially since i'm a twink who dates mostly butches. when i'm attracted to an older butch (that is, pretty much constantly, hehe), i do think there's an element of wanting to be like her when [if] i grow up/into a more "adult" gender in addition to all the physical attraction, but that's absolutely fine with me =). this is something i think about a fair bit, especially since i'm a twink who dates mostly butches. when i'm attracted to an older butch (that is, pretty much constantly, hehe), i do think there's an element of wanting to be like her when [if] i grow up/into a more "adult" gender in addition to all the physical attraction, but that's absolutely fine with me =).

]]> By: femme in butch cloth http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6449 femme in butch cloth Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:39:31 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6449 oh, totally: do i want them, or do i want to be them, or do i just want their outfit/shoes/look? would that be do-be-do-be-wear? oh, totally: do i want them, or do i want to be them, or do i just want their outfit/shoes/look? would that be do-be-do-be-wear?

]]> By: Siouxie_Suse http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6446 Siouxie_Suse Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:20:25 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6446 totally. it can work the other way around, too... especially in one's formative years... e.g., trying to 'be' like the person you're 'doing' and ending up a very unhappy baby femme trapped in baggy jeans (trying to 'do' being a 'proper lesbian' and wondering why her butch gf's eyes are wandering. . .) totally.

it can work the other way around, too… especially in one's formative years… e.g., trying to 'be' like the person you're 'doing' and ending up a very unhappy baby femme trapped in baggy jeans (trying to 'do' being a 'proper lesbian' and wondering why her butch gf's eyes are wandering. . .)

]]> By: Joliesse http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/02/define-the-do-be-do-be-do-complex/comment-page-1/#comment-6427 Joliesse Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:33:59 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=2772#comment-6427 I love this phrase, but I can't say that I've ever really experienced it. I attract to people so different from myself that there's not much question of wanting to be them rather than doing. ;) That said, I'm emailing the link to a friend in a relationship that can so be summed up with this description! I love this phrase, but I can't say that I've ever really experienced it. I attract to people so different from myself that there's not much question of wanting to be them rather than doing. ;) That said, I'm emailing the link to a friend in a relationship that can so be summed up with this description!

]]>