Define: The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex
I’m going to go ahead & swipe this phrase from a friend of mine, who I’ve heard use it a few times (though whom I haven’t heard if it’s okay to make reference to, so I’ll just thank him anonymously for now).
The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex referrs to getting involved in relationships where (especially in retrospect) you were drawn to the person because you wanted to be like them, not necessarily do them.
For example, as a baby butch, I dated a butch for a while, and I think it was more about my own fascination with butchness than it was my own orientation toward wanting to partner with and/or date and/or sleep with butches.
The Do-Be-Do-Be-Do Complex is, I think, especially applicable to butches and femmes, though I’m sure it extends to other identities.
Is this a useful phrase? Have you gone through phases of dating the folks you wanted to be instead of who you were, perhaps, ultimately attracted to?comment on this
Want more? You’re insatiable.
monthly(ish) newsletterfor just the highlights, announcements, workshops, and sometimes even exclusive smut. Plus, get the password for protected posts.
e-mail digestDo you love following Sugarbutch, but don't check this site regularly, or can't check from work because it's too dirty? Easy! Just subscribe below and receive the new Sugarbutch posts directly to your email inbox once a day.
- My queer identity « genderkid
- New music from the old staple – Sugarbutch Chronicles
- Top 100 hottest butches! « Princess Baby Dyke
- Review: Hard Love & How to Fuck in High Heels (DVD) – Sugarbutch Chronicles