Yes, you're right, it is being treated as second class and it SUCKS.

I'm also sorry for the big long waffly post…I'd had a few vodkas and was swept up in losing my blog comment virginity.

It feels a bit other worldly to be posting on NY sex blogs when you live in the UK by the North Sea. hahaha!

But anyway, the gist of it stands. Governments have no right to tell adults how to love and live.

I love Zoe's "I felt Tuesday night like I had won a car and then someone ran over my cat. " Sad thing is, it feels like part of that very car is what ran over the cat, advertently or inadvertently, whether or not it was the cat's damn fault to be sitting like an ass in the middle of the road, totally ignoring the car for blocks, or whatever.

Don't get me near a metaphor these days, I am sure to make hash of it.

The second worst thing about this whole Prop 8 loss is that it has so decisively knocked the wind out of what would have been unchecked joy over the Obama win.

The most worst thing: my cynicism and bitterness are winning the day. The contingent, bizarre sense of belonging I was so uncomfortable with feeling, since mid May? Gone.

The mixture of sorrow and elation the morning after was so intense. I live in a district represented by the first out lesbian in congress (go Tammy Baldwin!) *and* an anti-gay-marriage state (WI fought and lost this battle last election). This sense of being in the middle of sustaining a win and battle still to be won makes for quite a schism. But that line may always exist.

So these questions remain in my mind. How do we strip those churches of their tax exempt status? When do we take to the streets (again)? Or maybe in this case, take to the offices where licenses are issued? What will queer liberation look like beyond marriage rights? When they yank rights away, how do we yank back…successfully?

On this front, I'm still in the emotion of wanting to fight back dirty. But overall, my feelings are tempered by Studs Terkel's words: Hope dies last.

I will have to read more of your blog when I have the time. You write very eloquently.

http://baileygardnerfamily.blogspot.com/2008/11/n...

I rarely feel separate because of my sexuality. But all day at work yesterday I felt alienated – like I could not share wholeheartedly in the glee the other liberals were expressing. I also don't expect straight people to feel this way, or even completely understand how devastating it is to have this right that I'm not sure I even want right now, taken away. My supervisor gave lip service to being disappointed in the propositions and while I appreciated the gesture, I would rather she just celebrate, as I cannot fully, the Obama win.

Yesterday, every Democrat I knew was happy, people were walking around saying "Yes We Can!" to each other and smiling. And when I explained to a friend why I wasn't quite so happy, she said something along the lines of: "Well, what does it matter? You live in Massachusetts!" This is a good Democrat, who canvassed for Obama…

And I'm starting to think that's the problem. There are the people who actively oppose gay marriage, and there are the people who believe it's a "special interest issue," and those two categories encompass everyone who is not gay in this country…and there are so few of us comparatively.

And DOMA is blatantly unconstitutional. Marriage is a contract, and there is a clause in the body of the Constitution that mandates that each state must recognize contracts made by every other state.

Anyway, I agree with you so so much.