Yes, Mrs. Shepard. Gay adults have the responsibility to come out to help create a world where kids are safe and free.

As a adult, corporate femme who travels for business and meets new people every week, that duty weighs heavily on me. At any moment I can manage to pass in my skirted suit. To avoid an awkward moment, I can say "I went to X restaurant on Friday night" instead of "WE went to X restaurant." If I just don't "feel like dealing with it" in a conversation with my seatmate on a transcontinental flight, I can simply change the pronoun when referring to my partner.

But I don't.

Because it's my obligation. Because an annoying conversation with a small-minded corporate stoolie is likely the only price I will have to pay. Because what happened to Matthew Shepard happened, and could happen again. Because when we are out, we force, one person at a time, normalcy.

freedomgirl said, "Being out may be more dangerous to one’s physical health, but being in the closet is deeply destructive to one’s soul………To live a lie is exhausting and depressing."

Everywhere I look, all around my life, I see a mixture, an unsettled mess.

My dtr's 3 best friends are gay and proud, coming out in various degrees over the high school years. I support them and their independence but honestly I (especially now that they've gone awaay from home, off to college), seriously, I fear for them, because of their youth, fragility and idealism, and the world in general…

I remember when my cousin came out to me, we were maybe 20 years old. I didn't give a flip; I thought his sexuality had been obvious for years. But it was important to him to make that statement, to come out, and I respected that.

My h is homophobic. I've always thought this fact was really weird cuz,

1) otherwise, he's a really open-minded person,

AND

2) his uncle, who he very much respected professionally, was a (sad, drunk) closeted gay all his life.

Such a waste. Such a big mass of fear!

I think the comments immediately above, Janet's and yours, are important and interesting. I see SO many shades of grey in this stuff. I think we are all just one whole great big spectrum, all of life, everybody and anybody, just lay them all out, slice by slice, each person represents a unique combination of strength and beauty and pride and awesomeness etc……. There exists each and every possible permutation……

and THAT is life, real life… Why do we try to hide it, categorize it into a limited few boxes…? are our imaginations so limited???

I believe what the world/life is waiting on, is the day, when every single being is accepted and respected for exactly what they are, whatever combination of adjectives you choose …

I don’t mean to nit pick but beautiful young lesbian or proud young gay man — are more empowering terms to use in reference to one another.

Peace-
janet

[I know those words historically have some connotation of homophobia or "badness" in general, but they are terms that I use lovingly and endearingly, as someone who has spent a lot of time and energy and work on reclaiming language. In fact I would argue that my very definition of "baby dyke" is "beautiful young lesbian," and "baby fag" is "proud young gay man" -- or perhaps that "baby dyke" also means "proud young genderqueer gal who sleeps with women" and "baby fag" means "beautiful faery drag queen homo boy." There are lots of ways that these words have been used and reclaimed as positive, celebrational aspects of our selves, our history, and our community, and in no way for me do they connotate anything other than awesomeness.

As long as we're nit picking, I might respond with a question as to why you would describe your "young lesbian" as "beautiful" when describing a "young gay man" as "proud" - phrasing that reinforces the notion that women are valued for their physical beauty and men are valued for their brains. And I might call myself out on why I didn't include "baby queer" in that list, too, as there are SO many more orientations than just dyke/fag. -- ss]

My heart goes out to his family, and to anyone else who has ever come across such gross and brutal acts on another human being. And all for what? Because we love who we love…

From my heart, I sincerely thank you.

I work with the Hudson Valley Chapter [www.glsen.org/hudsonvalley] of GLSEN and now, 19 out of our 20 high schools have GSAs [gay/straight alliances].

19 out of 20 high schools are making it safer for kids to come out.

and right now, GLSEN is doing a lot of amazing things, including a PSA campaign with celebrities telling people that saying 'that's so gay' isn't acceptable and to 'knock it off!'

also, this week is Ally Week, set to be around Coming Out Day. to be an ally to LGBTQ youth is a big thing.

so I encourage you to check out http://www.glsen.org or http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com if you want to help make a difference for LGBTQ youth and LGBTQ people everywhere..