Comments on: in praise of femmes: the architecture of identity http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/ The sex, gender, and relationship adventures of a kinky queer butch top Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:09:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Femme Invisibility & Beyond : Sugarbutch Chronicles http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-16447 Femme Invisibility & Beyond : Sugarbutch Chronicles Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:29:35 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-16447 [...] Identity, I compiled my notes and identified a few different ways of constructing identity, such as in contrast to butch, in community, through language, through fashion and style, and through theory, and I think those still hold [...] [...] Identity, I compiled my notes and identified a few different ways of constructing identity, such as in contrast to butch, in community, through language, through fashion and style, and through theory, and I think those still hold [...]

]]> By: Realizations 1! « To The FemmeMobile! Away! http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-10714 Realizations 1! « To The FemmeMobile! Away! Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:01:32 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-10714 [...] I got all teary, because seriously, this is how I feel. People are surprised — gay and straight alike — when I say I have a girlfriend. I get, “But you don’t look gay,” (which always makes me wonder — how do gay people ‘look’? But of course there IS a look, which is why we have gaydar. And I do not register on it for most people, which gives me a weird, outward-turned search for approval, that is the same question that has bothered me since I FIRST thought maybe I was bi, and was the reason it took me so long to do anything about it: if no one else sees me as gay, am I wrong? Will I wake up one morning and realize I’m straight? As of tonight, this, at least, is a worry I can set aside.) (This particular Sugarbutch post was here.) [...] [...] I got all teary, because seriously, this is how I feel. People are surprised — gay and straight alike — when I say I have a girlfriend. I get, “But you don’t look gay,” (which always makes me wonder — how do gay people ‘look’? But of course there IS a look, which is why we have gaydar. And I do not register on it for most people, which gives me a weird, outward-turned search for approval, that is the same question that has bothered me since I FIRST thought maybe I was bi, and was the reason it took me so long to do anything about it: if no one else sees me as gay, am I wrong? Will I wake up one morning and realize I’m straight? As of tonight, this, at least, is a worry I can set aside.) (This particular Sugarbutch post was here.) [...]

]]> By: On Femme Invisibility – Sugarbutch Chronicles http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-9757 On Femme Invisibility – Sugarbutch Chronicles Sat, 28 Nov 2009 06:40:01 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-9757 [...] At the Femme Conference in 2008, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha said in her keynote address, “Femme invisibility is bullshit. You just don’t know how to look.” And I wanted to stand up and scream FUCK YEAH, because sometimes when femmes say “I feel so invisible” I want to say, but I SEE YOU! But I know I don’t always, not every single time, and I know I don’t make up for the other thousands of people who don’t see you, or for the discrimination and rejection from the queer communities that seems to continue, despite that femmes are a very significant part of queer communities. [...] [...] At the Femme Conference in 2008, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha said in her keynote address, “Femme invisibility is bullshit. You just don’t know how to look.” And I wanted to stand up and scream FUCK YEAH, because sometimes when femmes say “I feel so invisible” I want to say, but I SEE YOU! But I know I don’t always, not every single time, and I know I don’t make up for the other thousands of people who don’t see you, or for the discrimination and rejection from the queer communities that seems to continue, despite that femmes are a very significant part of queer communities. [...]

]]> By: Sinclair does femme (not that way!). « Two Ladies in Waiting http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-6735 Sinclair does femme (not that way!). « Two Ladies in Waiting Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:18:47 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-6735 [...] September 7, 2008 by twoladiesinwaiting Check out Sinclair on femme identity. [...] [...] September 7, 2008 by twoladiesinwaiting Check out Sinclair on femme identity. [...]

]]> By: The Momentousness of KinkForAll « beyond the hills http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-6685 The Momentousness of KinkForAll « beyond the hills Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:28:34 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-6685 [...] I didn’t get to meet him (I hope I heard the pronoun correctly. It was a little noisy at the time), but I watched Sinclaire’s presentation on confidence and butch-cock, which was cool because my presentation was inspired by his post on femme markers. [...] [...] I didn’t get to meet him (I hope I heard the pronoun correctly. It was a little noisy at the time), but I watched Sinclaire’s presentation on confidence and butch-cock, which was cool because my presentation was inspired by his post on femme markers. [...]

]]> By: More on How Femme Discussions are Making Me Think About My Sexuality « beyond the hills http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-6515 More on How Femme Discussions are Making Me Think About My Sexuality « beyond the hills Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:40:27 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-6515 [...] are Making Me Think About My Sexuality I was checking out response posts to Sinclair’s discussion of femme markers (note to self, ‘Sugarbutch’ is name of blog, ‘Sinclair’ is blogger, eep), [...] [...] are Making Me Think About My Sexuality I was checking out response posts to Sinclair’s discussion of femme markers (note to self, ‘Sugarbutch’ is name of blog, ‘Sinclair’ is blogger, eep), [...]

]]> By: Gender, and Markers, and– Hmm, I don’t actually have a third item « beyond the hills http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-6514 Gender, and Markers, and– Hmm, I don’t actually have a third item « beyond the hills Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:34:46 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-6514 [...] post on the ‘markers’ of being femme made my grey matter buzz both because it is an interesting concept to me, and a very foreign one. [...] [...] post on the ‘markers’ of being femme made my grey matter buzz both because it is an interesting concept to me, and a very foreign one. [...]

]]> By: To the Femmes - en|Gender http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-5821 To the Femmes - en|Gender Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:12:58 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-5821 [...] present to my lovely wife, and to all of you lovely femmes out there, I thought I’d post this lovely piece I found about a month ago & have been meaning to link [...] [...] present to my lovely wife, and to all of you lovely femmes out there, I thought I’d post this lovely piece I found about a month ago & have been meaning to link [...]

]]> By: What Happened in September http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-4822 What Happened in September Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:49:15 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-4822 [...] some of the topics we were discussing there I wrote the monthly In Praise of Femmes column on the architecture of identity. I also did a femme conference roundup & links list, pointing to other bloggers who attended [...] [...] some of the topics we were discussing there I wrote the monthly In Praise of Femmes column on the architecture of identity. I also did a femme conference roundup & links list, pointing to other bloggers who attended [...]

]]> By: dollpart http://www.sugarbutch.net/2008/09/in-praise-of-femmes-the-architecture-of-identity/comment-page-1/#comment-4703 dollpart Sun, 05 Oct 2008 05:47:54 +0000 http://www.sugarbutch.net/?p=1126#comment-4703 Sorry if this is johnny-come-latley to this article but it really piqued my intrest since I want to look for a partner and I asked some friends who are in the lesbian scene in my town and they said I'd stick out like a sore thumb by the way I dress. See, I adore all things hyperfemminine and none so hyper-fem as the Elegant Gothic and Lolita style, I wear it all the time, petticoats, bloomers, hair bows, skirts, dresses, purses, make up, shoes that would make your head spin, unpracticle nail appliques, hair pieces and mountains of jewelery. I've been to a few queer events around town, chatted with a lot of lovely ladies but I feel like the big frilly blipp in the queer matrix. Butch girls are nice, I'd like to get to know some but they're put off by the frills/lace/bows/excess and as for regular lipstick girls they just seem to not exist or be too old for me. I'm attracted and adore femininity and butch girls too but my style seems to be babepoison in a 99% butch dyke community here : /rant about how my riddiculous self made construct of an alternative sort of overt femininity is killin' my datin' pool ;) keep up the good work sugarbutch Sorry if this is johnny-come-latley to this article but it really piqued my intrest since I want to look for a partner and I asked some friends who are in the lesbian scene in my town and they said I'd stick out like a sore thumb by the way I dress. See, I adore all things hyperfemminine and none so hyper-fem as the Elegant Gothic and Lolita style, I wear it all the time, petticoats, bloomers, hair bows, skirts, dresses, purses, make up, shoes that would make your head spin, unpracticle nail appliques, hair pieces and mountains of jewelery.

I've been to a few queer events around town, chatted with a lot of lovely ladies but I feel like the big frilly blipp in the queer matrix. Butch girls are nice, I'd like to get to know some but they're put off by the frills/lace/bows/excess and as for regular lipstick girls they just seem to not exist or be too old for me.

I'm attracted and adore femininity and butch girls too but my style seems to be babepoison in a 99% butch dyke community here :

/rant about how my riddiculous self made construct of an alternative sort of overt femininity is killin' my datin' pool ;) keep up the good work sugarbutch

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