accessing the protected posts

So the former password protection post is spilling over with requests. With the intention of me not missing requests for access to the password protected posts, this is the new post where you leave a comment.

It would be best if you left your website, too, even if it’s your myspace or facebook address, as I’d like to know you’re a real person. You can email that to me if you’d rather it not be published publically. It’s not a requirement, if you don’t have one, but I’d appreciate it, as these are very personal writings.

About the password protected posts:

They are primarily my personal journal entries: reflections on my relationships, and my real life sex stories. Sugarbutch started so that I could have a place to reflect on my relationship difficulties, which included the problems with my relationship with my ex where I wanted to be more butch (and wanted her to be more femme) but felt unsupported to explore that, and the problems we were having with sex, which was that we were having none. It evolved into a place where I processed my relationship with another girl that I immediately got involved with, and when that relationship ended spectacularly awfully, it has been chronicling my evolution back to myself, my committment to myself, my “aspiring stud”-ness in trying to get laid, and trying to get my shit together such that I can enter into a healthy, stable, positive, committed relationship again.

Meanwhile, though, it has been lots of gender theory. Lots. And some smut stories. Which are also fun.

And as I’ve gained a larger and larger readership, the personal stuff is entirely too exposed, so they have gone under password protection. I still want a place to write about my relationship evolutions, and I still love having writing and blogging as a medium to explore my own sense of self, so I tend to write a few of these a month.

So, if you’d like to read the personal posts, leave a comment at the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.


Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queer women" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ‚ÄčTheir short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself. Follow all their personal writings and all the updates through

270 thoughts on “accessing the protected posts”

  1. Alexa says:

    hey there… this is the first comment i leave you but i certainly hope it's not the last… i really like your blog, i've even been reading other blogs that keep sending me back to yours… and i have to admit that i'm pretty curious of those protected posts… here's my myspace link:

  2. l_e says:

    my curiosity is piqued.

  3. Aerin says:

    Thank you for the captivating smut . . . and all the rest as well. A password would be well used, if you are so inclined.

  4. pdubeu says:

    love your blog!

  5. Dane says:

    I'd love to read whatever else you've got here. It's addictive. And hot.

  6. springbound says:

    Love what I've read so far! Thanks so much!

  7. lesbowannabe says:


    Just found your site a few weeks ago! I love it! I'd like access to the password protected stuff!

  8. rodin says:


    I'd like to read the protected posts please


  9. Kelly says:

    i’d love to read more. Feel free to add me if you have a facebook.


  10. p says:


    Hi Sinclair, this is P…I've been reading your blog for a few months now, and I would love to read more. I'm real, although my blog is just getting started, so come check me out if you get a chance (or facebook me, google, etc.). Your insights on gender roles, sexuality, feminism, and life in general jive with my own perspective, and its always nice to find kindred spirits in the world. Rock on.

  11. zebra says:

    I'm a femme, and I found you a couple of months ago. I love both your smut and theory, so I figure the protected posts can only be better, and I'd like to read them.

  12. j says:

    i wrote many weeks ago and gave you my Myspace page, but I forgot to leave a message here… so please, I'd like to read the protected posts. Thanks!

  13. Sweetnyss says:

    Well, I found you via Fetlife, and Ive only read for about 30 minutes, but I love what Ive seen, and I would love to see more. Ive linked my fetlife page (I hope) and if youd like myspace and whatnot, I can do that too. Blessed be….

  14. May says:

    Hi. I've been enjoying your blog and would like to be able to see the protected posts. Thanks!

  15. Crystal says:

    This has quickly become one of my favorite blogs to read. It's pretty much the most amazing thing ever. :)

    Thank you in advance!

    – Crystall

  16. kate says:

    i've been reading for a few months and now finally found where to request the password… thanks!

  17. Emily says:

    I am a real human and you can feel free to email me, I just didn't want my site published. I just came across your blog and it is exactly what I have been missing in my readings on the internet.

  18. Jen says:

    I've been reading (and loving) your blog for a while… password protected posts would be wonderful!! Sign me up… please?


  19. Emma says:

    I have a facebook page so you can verify I'm a real person.

    Just started reading a few days ago, and can't seem to tear myself away from any of it–smut or otherwise. Please let me unlock the rest! Cheers,


  20. Miss Ida says:

    To say I enjoy your blogs is a great understatement.

    Thank you for sharing these writings with us.


    Miss Ida

  21. Lindsey says:

    I discovered your website a month ago, and I have been an avid reader ever since. I happened to discover it just as my girlfriend and I began playing with power dynamics and consent, and it has been so inspiring and hot. I would love to read everything that you've written on your site.


  22. Thorne says:

    Greetings! I just found your blog and am loving it already! Relationships and self exploration are of very high interest and importance to me, being a 47 year old femme lesbian (who finally discovered my true self only 5 years ago) who is in a relationship of love and monogamy with the butch I have loved for over 20 years! I would appreciate being privy to your private writings, as I so appreciate the content and quality of the rest of your blog.


  23. Nina says:

    You're blog inspires the femme within me. Feeling how much I want to be Kristen makes me realize what kind of a dyke I truly am/want to be. I just the kind of hot butch I want to be with.


  24. Jane says:

    I am a real person and really enjoy your blog. Thank you.

    A password would be great.

  25. lizzy says:


    I’d really love to read your personal post.

    If you need more info about my real personness, just ask.


  26. Amreen says:

    Hi there,

    I'd also like to get the password. I started reading your blog a few weeks ago, and I'm already burning through the archives, so I would love to read more.

    I promise I'm a real person; you can search for me in Facebook to verify (my name is in my email address).


  27. Laura says:

    I stumbled across Sugarbutch….now i don't know what i would do without it! i would be as pleased as sexy, sexy punch to have the password. :D


  28. Kit Lang says:

    Hi there,

    A friend of mine who's a regular reader of yours sent me here today. I've read… perhaps 15 of your public posts and love your voice, your introspection, what you have to say and your willingness to share yourself with the world.

    In that spirit, Hi, 'm Kit. I'm a queer Femme in Toronto, Canada, came out in 1983, and came out again as femme ten years later. I've been a lot of things over the years, in my present incarnation, I'm a happily married femme-as-gender queer, who works in law, has left activsim as a career behind, but occasionally has to nevertheless, make noise about something. You won't find that at my blog, which is exclusively about one of my (rather odd) passions, quilting, but if you'd like as much insight into my personal life as you give us here, you can also find me at Although that's a friends only journal, let me know who you are (if you're at livejournal) and I'll give you access. Seems only fair. (Although I'm far less interesting!) :)

  29. Will says:

    Hey! I'd love to read your blog through completely, if it's okay, I'd like the pass for the personal posts :). I'm sure I'd miss some interesting interplay between your articles and your personal life if I didn't!

  30. Politico says:


    I have been reading your blog for several months now and have never been disappointed. I have read references to your past relationship which suffered from a bad case of LBD and well, am going through that scenario myself. I find all of your writings thought provoking (some more thoughts are more intellectual while others lean more to the carnal).

    I don't have a website, as I am a 40 something middle aged butch but hope you will take pity on me.

  31. Hayden says:

    Saw you read at Blue Stockings, amazing… I would love to see all of your entries if possible. I, um, was the tall blonde girl wiggling in the back. Anyway, this site is beautiful, I am looking forward to reading more.

    Thank you,


  32. Sapphicslave says:

    I would really like to read more of what you've written. Ive read all I can find in the last few days since I found this site (from and am starving for more. Seems like everything you write has happened at some point in my head already…but from "her" POV. Its really amazing to see it in words.

  33. K says:

    Hi Sinclair,

    I love your site and especially your stories. I am a femme who dreams daily of the adventures you write about. Please, please, please, the password for the private areas of the site! And if ever you are Downunder, look me up.


  34. d says:

    I just discovered your blog and have devoured every unprotected post already. You're incredible and basically who I want to be when I grow up. I'd like to respectfully request the password to your more inner workings. thanks!

  35. minib says:

    Curiosity is getting the better of me and I would love to read more of what you have written.

  36. Emily says:


    I love your blog! Your posts are always interesting and informative!

    I would love to be able to read the private posts as well!

    Thanks and much love


  37. Ames says:

    Just found your blog and really enjoy it. Password for protected posts would be much appreciated…



  38. G Funk says:

    I just started reading your site. I think it's great and to be honest I wish I had the ability to mold words the way that you do.

    Wow…can't wait for more.


  39. m h says:

    dear sinclair,

    thank you for this incredible space. you make an older, femme-identified, activist feminist girl flush. i'd gladly beg for a password, if necessary.

  40. A says:

    incredible blog. please add me.

  41. rob says:

    It's refreshing to come across a butch that speaks hir mind freely as you do. Please grant me access in your password protected posts. And please keep it up!



  42. Katelyn says:

    I've been reading your blog for a while now and would really be honored if you would allow me to read the protected posts. My facebook site, so you can know I'm a real person is:

  43. CM says:

    I'd love to view your password protected writings. What I've already read of your blog is inspiring enough – I can't imagine what else there is. To be more specific, I am a femme in a committed relationship and my butch is really enjoying your writing. We're both enjoying the naughty bits, but she seems to be getting a lot of comfort from reading your personal experiences.

    I don't have a website either, having quit social networking recently, but if you email me I can send you a link to my partner's business site- it would be totally inappropriate to post it here.

  44. North says:

    I'd love a password, if you get to it. Email me if you'd like my real name as well.

  45. Mel says:

    I don't have a blog, but I'm enjoying reading yours and would love a password. I promise I'm a real, nonstalker girl.

  46. Pam says:

    Been reading your blog for a while now and love it! It's helping my wife and I explore our sex life a little too – we needed something hot, we've been together for 14 years! (Not that it's not hot, don't get me wrong!) Would love a password for the protected posts:) My facebook page is

  47. Hannah says:

    I would love the password to the protected posts out of sheer respectful curiosity.

  48. Mia says:

    I would love to have the password. I'm real, I promise.

  49. Diane says:

    hey sinclair, i'm just coming out as a lesbian and am fairly clueless, which from what i read is pretty typical. what is a lonely lesbian to do? help! i need instruction! your blog does that and so much more. do you think you might want to share your password with me? i, too, am for real…

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