accessing the protected posts

So the former password protection post is spilling over with requests. With the intention of me not missing requests for access to the password protected posts, this is the new post where you leave a comment.

It would be best if you left your website, too, even if it’s your myspace or facebook address, as I’d like to know you’re a real person. You can email that to me if you’d rather it not be published publically. It’s not a requirement, if you don’t have one, but I’d appreciate it, as these are very personal writings.

About the password protected posts:

They are primarily my personal journal entries: reflections on my relationships, and my real life sex stories. Sugarbutch started so that I could have a place to reflect on my relationship difficulties, which included the problems with my relationship with my ex where I wanted to be more butch (and wanted her to be more femme) but felt unsupported to explore that, and the problems we were having with sex, which was that we were having none. It evolved into a place where I processed my relationship with another girl that I immediately got involved with, and when that relationship ended spectacularly awfully, it has been chronicling my evolution back to myself, my committment to myself, my “aspiring stud”-ness in trying to get laid, and trying to get my shit together such that I can enter into a healthy, stable, positive, committed relationship again.

Meanwhile, though, it has been lots of gender theory. Lots. And some smut stories. Which are also fun.

And as I’ve gained a larger and larger readership, the personal stuff is entirely too exposed, so they have gone under password protection. I still want a place to write about my relationship evolutions, and I still love having writing and blogging as a medium to explore my own sense of self, so I tend to write a few of these a month.

So, if you’d like to read the personal posts, leave a comment at the beep and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.


Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queer women" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ‚ÄčTheir short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself. Follow all their personal writings and all the updates through

270 thoughts on “accessing the protected posts”

  1. Tweyelite says:

    Holy replies batman! How e u ever going to keep up with sending out ur password?? lol

    Interesting blog though, makes ppl think which is obviously y its so popular. So here's my request along with the many others..

  2. jesse says:

    Hey, it's Jesse. I'm pretty sure you know I'm a real person :) Share?

  3. madcowfpb says:

    I also would love to read your protected posts. Is there an application form? Do I have to take a drug test? Not that that would be a problem?

  4. Miz Chris says:

    I enjoy your journal. If you feel comfortable please add me!

  5. Allie says:


    I'd really love to read your protected post

  6. Megan says:

    I love reading your blog! I've included my blog address…I'm not really the best blogger ever but I guess it will give you more insight to who I am and why I read your blog.


  7. ZenPirate says:

    My blog site is so old it is really a cobweb-site, but I have been reading your fascinating blog for about 2 months now and would love to see the password protected sites if you are open to sharing them with so many people.

    BTW, love your recommendations on toys from both Babeland and Eden. Thanks for all you are doing. My girl seconds that.

  8. AGmatsu says:

    I love your blog! I'm a new reader, but I'm a more than a little smitten; may I have more access?

  9. Jamie says:

    Send password.


  10. leigh says:

    I've become addicted to Sugarbutch – it's one of my daily reads. Would love to have access to the password protected post if that's alright by you. I included the link to my blog. :)

  11. Becky says:

    Hey Sinclair!

    I don't comment but I read regularly. It's one of my top fave reads. I'd love to be included…

  12. Elizabeth says:

    I had requested to read your protected posts earlier, but I'm going to withdraw my request for now. Clearly you are swamped!

    I enjoy reading your blog and will continue to do so. I was especially interested to read the current password protected one because the title is so intriguing. I'd like some insight into that topic!

    Just fyi: I am a real person! I have a facebook account, a live journal blog and a blogspot blog. I also have a day job. And a girlfriend. And a grown up daughter. And pets. And a house.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us. It is amazing to realize how vast this thing is…

  13. Kimi says:

    I'd love to have a password if that's ok. Your choice. Thanks for offering yourself to the net and to us.

  14. Nichole says:

    Hi there, I'm a fairly new reader to your blog, but would like to continue!


  15. Lena says:

    Hope you can let me in!

  16. Celine says:

    Hey, would love to read the passworded entries. Your writing has me hooked and these are the subjects I base a lot of my work around.

  17. Neysa says:

    Hi. I would like to add my voice to the chorus. I have a lot to figure out myself, and your writing helps me.

  18. z says:

    most of my own stuff is friends-locked, but i would very much appreciate having the password to read yours. and of course, if you have an lj-account to read people's blogs, i'll add you there.

    your work is HOT. thanks.

  19. Christle says:

    I'm a fairly new reader but absolutely adore the gender theory, exploration and conversation going on here! I would love to read more about your personal journey, if you deem so. Thanks! :)

  20. dyed says:

    hello! i've been reading for just over a year now, but i'm generally too shy to comment. sorry. but i'd love to get the password if i could =)

  21. Sarah says:

    I love reading your page

  22. Em says:

    Great writing :)

    I know what you mean about NY – London is the same for me, as a north of England girl. Not so much to be myself as to figure out who I am at all.

    Password would be awesome if that's alright with you. I hope you're not overwhelmed with all the requests. Thank you *very* much for your writing.

  23. Francina says:

    I would love to read more. It's make me think and wonder some things about myself that I never have before.

  24. SuperTex says:

    SS – found your site about a month ago, and i'm so glad i did! i'm more boi than butch, so i thought i was having gender issues whenever i fantasized about getting off as if i had a real cock. and then i read "intentionally alight" (sigh of relief).

    mad props for your openness and honesty. i don't do facebook/myspace, but i'd appreciate it if i could have access to your password protected posts. thanks!

  25. Sara says:

    I'd love to have a password. I have been reading on and off over the summer and am so happy I found your site. I share a lot of what I read here with my partner – it makes us both think and I love how I get it even more when I tell her something I read and she says, 'Yep, that's me'.

    Oh, and I love the smut!

  26. julie says:

    I'd love to read more. Please give me the password!

  27. Mossie says:

    Chicory at turned me on to your site a few days ago and I'm playing catch-up. Would appreciate your password as I am a real person with no ill motives.

  28. Sutton says:

    I love your blog. I ‘discovered’ it this summer and I’ve been coming back almost daily since. I’m a femme and for a long time felt like I was not ‘a real lesbian’ because of my girliness. Your blog actually helped me get over that and start to celebrate who I am. I really like the smut too so I’m hoping you’ll share the password with me as well.

  29. Shev says:


    I love your blog, for so many reasons, but I think most of those reasons can be summed up in your 'About Me' section. It's really refreshing to read a perspective on queer identities, and the hotness of the butch/femme dynamic in a way that actually reflects the life and people that I know.

  30. Lila says:

    I love this blog and I'd like very much to read your more intimate selections.

  31. Sakura says:

    I would love to read anything you write!

  32. Bettina says:


    i'm a new-ish reader. i love blogs on gender, sexuality, food, academia, and fat acceptance. i love them so much that i now study them. (an aside: don't really have a blog of my own, unless you count LJ, but i don't think they're really in the same genre.)

    anyhow, i'd love to read your password protected entries.

  33. roxanne says:

    Love your blog, you’ve helped me through some of my own issues with gender and sexuality. Would love to read the protected posts as well.

  34. Laura says:

    Would love to read more. :}

  35. Malcolm Hardwell says:

    Would love to read the protected posts; I found your site through Holden's (Packing Vocals) and am enjoying it tremendously.

  36. d says:

    came for the maddow post, stayed for the rest.

  37. Sarah says:

    Your writing has piqued my interest. But you have left me wanting more.

    I am a queer femme who just moved to NYC and your blog has left me anxious to begin my exploration of the butches in this big city.

    Mr. Sexsmith, can I have your password? I'm rapidly becoming a Sugarbutch slut.

  38. Safo Garcia says:


    We have two things in common: using theory and reviewing at Eden. You make the theory accessible and appealing, which is the highest form of sexiness in my book. I'd love to have the password for your more intimate posts.



  39. Jane says:

    It would be great if I could read your protected posts. I do love your writing and your thinking.

    And here is my (new) poetry blog to which I added your blog's RSS Feed to my blog's sidebar;

    I just got an odd confirmation email from you, so my fingers are crossed that my name is up in your line of folks to approve.

  40. Sarah says:

    I came here cause somebody linked to your rachel maddow post. your blog is the most interesting thing I've read in ages. and I would like to read all of it. I filled in my LJ address under website.

  41. Elizabeth says:

    Hey Slick!

    You sent me an email with a link to confirm access… but it doesn't work!

    Can we try again?


  42. Teresa says:

    If you might share your password with me, I would be ever grateful.

  43. Melissa says:

    Hello! I love your blog and would like to read the password protected posts.


  44. Calico says:

    Me please. :)

  45. luciana light says:

    good evening sir,

    so very glad i stayed home with a fever and discovered your writings.

    may i please see more?

    much appreciated,


  46. Julie says:

    I love your writing! Reading your thoughts on gender theory is helpful. I talk about it all the time and have pushed friends and family to check you out.

    And I would love to read the password protected stuff.


  47. Tina says:

    Hi! Stumbled upon your site… your recent post on "a girl: my future wife" really moved me. I'd appreciate it if I could read more of your work. Great stuff!

  48. Mariella says:

    Pretty please?

Leave a Reply