Comments on: falling in love is still cheating

By: Carly

Carly — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:23:50 +0000

I think it's an incredible service for you to write about this in a way that makes people clue into their own madness. You may have gone through pain… but it's clearly for a greater good… which may not be any comfort when there's still a knife in your heart, I know.

By: green-eyed girl

green-eyed girl — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:56:15 +0000

I just read the story and you did such a great job at capturing that time and managing to keep short something that was so complex.

I feel that falling in love with someone else is worse than just having a physical affair. Fucking around is one thing but being in love with someone else is tormenting on a constant basis. Even if you stay in your current relationship, you are not really there, your heart and soul live in someone else.

One more thing, this LBD thing used to scare me, but I’m hitting the two year mark with my girl and it just keeps getting hotter. I see no signs of slowing down. Perhaps it’s all about chemistry.

By: muse

muse — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:28:29 +0000

I loved reading your excitement at the new love, outcome notwithstanding. relationships might go sour (as Dan Savage says, "every relationship fails, until one doesn't"), but there's nothing more inspiring and enlivening than that first part of love. it almost makes all the messy crap that comes later worth it. and really, your first kiss was set against the backdrop of literal fireworks? no wonder you were done for.

I understand why you feel bad about the way things ended with The Ex, but it sounds like you were up against a wall there. sometimes things get so wrong that you can only run away. grade yourself on the curve for that one. LBD makes people crazy, yo.

By: Ms. Post No Bills

Ms. Post No Bills — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:49:57 +0000

"At this point, nearly a year after we split, I just feel kinda sorry for the girls who walk around with this kind of filter on the world."

Please elaborate, darling.

[Ah, good question. It's hard to explain (which is probably why I glossed over it). What I mean is, Callie sees things in a very particular way, with a particular filter, a particular m.o. that guides and dictates her actions and emotions and understandings of things ... especially in terms of needing (craving, surviving on) external validation of her worth. Many girls have said to me that they empathize with Callie's perspective when I've told these stories (some of them saying, 'wow, I can see the kind of affect it has on those around me now, thank you') and that saddens me - I want to wish them solid senses of self-worth and adequacy. - ss]