ask me anything

… go on, you know you want to.

In celebration of Sugarbutch Chronicle’s second anniversary, I’m going to follow one of my favorite blogger’s Ask Me Anything thread over at Zen Habits and open up the floor to any questions you might have for me. I can’t promise to answer 100 (as Zen Habits’s author Leo did) but I will answer as many as I can.

You already know how old I am (29), my favorite cock (Silky), and a whoooole lot about my relationship history in the past few years (see: every “girl” category over there in the sidebar). But what else do you want to know?

To echo Leo once again: You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of. I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

12 thoughts on “ask me anything”

  1. muse says:

    p.s. you'd think I'd be better at this from all the years I spent watching Jeopardy, but… phrased in the form of a question:

    what is your archetypical, eroticized gender-performance-y, fuckable femme outfit, from head to toe, outside in?

  2. green-eyed girl says:

    Well done, Muse!

    Ok, here's mine: Is there something that you have really wanted to do sexually but haven't yet? What is it?

  3. muse says:

    my goodness, where to begin?

    how about this: please describe, in all your elaborate writer-ly glory, your ideal fuckable femme outfit, from head to toe, outside in.

    I’m talking archetypes here, so there’s no need to be bogged down by reality or limitations of any kind. sky’s the limit!

  4. laura luna says:

    Muse…that was a GREAT question…took the words right out of my mouth!!!

  5. saintchick says:

    Since Muse has addressed the outfit issue :)
    Can you please list a new & improved sex music mix ? I know that you are dying to update it.
    Also what perfume is to be worn with above said outfit ?

  6. leo says:

    i have a question about butch identity. you’ve written so eloquently about the concerns you faced in reconciling feminism and your gender identity, and especially about rejecting misogyny as a necessary element of masculinity. but you’ve also written that you wanted to throw up (i think?) when someone first called you butch. was that all about feminism? if not, what other feelings (positive or negative) and concerns have been central to the development of your sense of butch identity/female masculinity? did it frighten you at all, apart from the feminism issue, or was it love at first sight, or some combination? happy anniversary, by the way!

  7. Mm says:

    How does one (or more appropriately two) keep passion from waning in a long term monogamous relationship? It’s been done, but how? I would really like to know your thoughts.

    I escaped very unhealthy LBD relationship after 5 years, and Never looked back. I very much appreciate your honest and eloquent writings about those experiences.

  8. Dosia says:

    What would you say is the best way for a girl to approach a hot butch in a bar/at a dyke march/behind the counter in a cafe/in class? How do we make those connections — not just for sex, but for friendship? Hell, it doesn’t have to be specific to butch/femme dynamics, how does it work, this meeting other queer women?

    And thanks for two awesome years of blog!

  9. cyn says:

    Your longer time readers/people probably already know the answer to this… do you have a day job and what is it?

    Who is your fav band/musical artist?

    What is your fave dyke/queer blog?

    Why, as a butch, do you understand the need (other verb here?) to post butch eye candy on your site? Do you know/believe most of your readers to want/desire BUTCH eye candy?

    Thanks for your blog. It means a lot to me, cyn.

  10. Zoe says:

    It’s before midnight my time…not sure if this counts…

    How did you develop boundaries for your blog? How do you decide what to write about vs what to keep private? Who would you be most worried about finding it?

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