Comments on: tips for dating via personal ads

By: LataneBlu

LataneBlu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 23:26:53 +0000

I can't understand why women spend so much time selling themselves on their SEX appeal mainly. I'd like to be able to have my mind stimulated as well with conversations of substance.

By: SuperSoftStud

SuperSoftStud — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:18:52 +0000

what sparked a robust and really great round of internet/cl dates for me recently was an ad that listed out some of the specific types of dates that i wanted to share, i was specific about the activities that i like and some were silly, some serious and some sexy….that has gotten alot of responses. and dev and zoe nailed it. i will never again do the epic, pen pal e-mail thing. i agree with you, if you can't meet me in the next two weeks, then you probably don't have time to date!

By: Zoe

Zoe — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:08:01 +0000

I agree with Dev about meeting sooner than later…otherwise the whole thing is too middle school.

Also, I think it's helpful to include something in the ad that the reader can respond to, like a question. It might be a little cheesy, but it also helps the responder right something more interesting than "your post caught my eye…"

By: saintchick

saintchick — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:38:39 +0000

Love all the pointers that are listed. What I did was ask a couple of my friends to give a little tidbit about me. I didn't agree with all the comments ( bossy & stubborn) but I still used them. So far no problems !!

By: Single White Femme

Single White Femme — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:24:51 +0000

I’d also say that being authentic in your profile is helpful. I can tell when women write their profile according to what they think others want to read. Honesty is best; I’ve found plenty of people who like all my little quirks.

By: Jackt's girl

Jackt's girl — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 16:56:39 +0000

This is exactly how I met that hot butch in the previous post (thanks for posting the picture – I love to be reminded of what a lucky femme I am).

Here is one of the many magic ingredients that worked for us.

Be specific. About who you are and what you are looking for. The specifics we listed in our profiles made it abundantly clear that we were starting out with a lot of potential for compatibility. After sifting through a lot of profiles I noticed that most people make their profiles as broad and vague as possible, in order to attract more people I presume. I figured specificity was an effective way to weed out the potential responders who were not going to be into who I really am or what I was actually looking for. I still got a lot of hits and flirts from people who clearly did not fit what I was asking for, but it helped steer me and my sweetie toward each other.

We met each other on the butch-femme.com personals site which seems to have a fairly high success rate. Have you ever tried that site? I seem to remember lots of folks from NYC on there.

Well good luck with your date search. I find it difficult to imagine you’ll have much trouble getting laid once you put your mind to it :).

By: roro

roro — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 15:54:25 +0000

Excellent tips, particularly the "be authentic" part. I would add that instead of simply using words like "smart, funny and sexy" to describe yourself, it's more effective to actually write something smart, funny or sexy.

I posted a few other online dating tips on my blog awhile back – I think most of them are still valid. Hope your online search is fruitful – looking forward to reading about it!

By: Dev

Dev — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 15:51:03 +0000

My advice after doing this for a few years is "Meet sooner rather than later." It's easy (for me) to get caught up in a series of epic emails, then meet and have everything fall flat. If you're hoping for a real-life relationship, move it to real life soon.