this is how it goes
You think, I’m not ready for a relationship, not even an ongoing sexual one with clear emotional boundaries.
You think, there’s no way I can even adequately interact with other human beings intimately without causing or receiving some sort of heartache.
You think, I must be more restrictive and conscienscious of my interactions.
Then, someone comes along, someone unexpected maybe, and for a minute, an hour, four hours, over Thai food, over a bottle of Presecco, over take out from Song, over a walk on the promenade, over a tattoo, you remember that there is more to an interaction than simply confusion and ache, and sometimes you can hold small shards of yourself up to someone else’s light and discover a shade of yourself that you’d never really seen until someone else was there to provide illumination.