I have a date with Joy tonight. The exchange went like this:Subject: if I may be so bold

Sinclair to Joy

morning, gorgeous. … what does your tuesday night look like? … that’s tomorrow, I realize. if I may be so bold, I might invite myself to your place with a six-pack. perhaps get some take-out? I think I may want to bring along a different cock, too.

Joy to Sinclair

Hiya, handsome - [...] Six-pack and takeout sounds marvelous. Or, I can cook. Is there anything you don’t like/don’t eat? Do you eat fish, eggs, dairy?[...] And wow, that’s a tease. Now I’m going to spend between then and now wondering what constitutes “different”. Don’t tell me. More fun to guess …

Sinclair to Joy

it’s a date. what time will you be ready for me? [...] no need to cook - I can think of other things I’d rather you were doing with your hands. seriously. though you did say you enjoy cooking, so I won’t fight too hard if you would insist. I eat just about everything that isn’t meat or mushrooms… I do eat dairy & occasionally fish.

Joy to Sinclair

Working from home tomorrow, so just let me know when to be ready for you. The sooner the better, as far as I’m concerned. (Shameless!) [...] I’ll be scantily clad and cooking. Come prepared, and with an appetite.

Sinclair to Joy

damn. can’t wait. I’ll come right from work. you sure know how to whet a girl’s appetite.

Joy cooking dinner for me is a little more than I expected or wanted for our third (!) date, but I like the comfortability of being at her place, and the privacy. Here’s what I’m thinking:We’ve seen each other twice so far, and clearly would like to continue to do so. On my end, I don’t feel any pressure or heavy emotion, and I like that, I prefer to keep it in a more physical-friendship realm.

But, I did have a vision last night of having to say to her, “I like you, but I just can’t handle an intense emotional realtionship right now, blah blah blah …” and it makes me want to gag. Ugh. I do not want to have that conversation with somebody, so I need to be upfront about what is going on with me, and where I’m at, at the beginning. I could be wrong, but I think she’s on the same page as I am here. And if I am wrong, boy, I’d like to know now.

Also, clearly we are enjoying each other’s company. I think there’s more to explore sexually. So I am going to up the ante (as I’ve been saying) and attempt to have That Kink Conversation, asking her what she likes, what she’s into, what she’s never done, what she wants to do. I’m hoping that this will be a lead-in conversation to topping and bottoming, considering that a lot of kink activities usually involve some sort of trust and submission and dominance. At the top of my list of things I’d like to explore are flogging and rope bondage, so I will ask her about those.

Yes, I want a bottom. Yes, this will be a short-term thing with Joy. I am still unsure how much I want to invest with her, I want to lay out our interests on the table and look through them, see what we’re dealing with here.

Considering what we’ve already done - fisting, blow jobs, packing, strap-on sex - and we’re on the third date - I think she’ll be open and interested in the conversation, though whether her particular flavor of kink(s) matches mine. I have a feeling she hasn’t explored much, although that is purely based on that she hasn’t explored the butch/femme gender politics dynamic very elaborately, and yes I do know that those things are different.

Meanwhile, I packed my biggest cock to bring on the date tonight, and after work I’m picking up beer and heading to her place, prepared, and with an appetite.