Archive for July, 2007

small glitch in the star contest

July 21, 2007  |  miscellany  |  No Comments
I was just looking a bit closer at the entires so far, and I have some bad news — I think the form cuts off at a certain character count. There are a few of you that I think got cut off.

I’ll be emailing you. But meanwhile, email me your submissions: aspiringstud@ gmail.com

Protected: how I continue to move on

July 21, 2007  |  journal entries  |  Enter your password to view comments.

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submissions, so far

July 21, 2007  |  miscellany  |  3 Comments
I’ve got four submissions so far. Keep ‘em coming folks! Ten more days and the polls are closed.

So far, I’ve got some of the following ideas: a photo shoot, a dark & dirty bar, a back alley, a bathroom, a hitchiking scene, power tools, my bedroom, a femme, a straight girl, a “tough boi” working as a gardner. I like ‘em all … it’s going to be hard to pick my favorites (assuming I get more than five submissions at all, of course, which I’m still a little nervous about).

some amendments

July 19, 2007  |  miscellany  |  2 Comments

to the list:

Famous (fuckable) Femmes:
Bitch

Famous Butches:
Daniela Sea
Julie Goldman – if you haven’t seen Commitment Ceremony, I highly recommmend it.

hemlock

July 19, 2007  |  poetry  |  No Comments

I am delicate. This tough guise
comes along with the collared shirts -
briefs – jackets in mud puddles -
but it is only a performance.

Do not mistake it for the same gauge
of pressure it takes to bruise
the skin of my heart. Purple

gives way to red gives way to pink.
Even the strong language I take in
too deep because I have no wall up
between me and you. I have no wall

up but you can’t tell how transparent
I am when I have cried, when I have
asked a question, turned a door handle

so you did not have to. I want to take
care of you. I want to take care of
myself, so invisibly that you won’t notice,
then take care of you. But that is not

realistic. I know. I am sensitive,
affected by all the madness marching
around me. I cannot get away from it

some days. Some days I am eaten alive
by the bees in the hive, some days I am
the hive through which everything flows.
I carry around words like brutal and

punished in a notebook and touch the
letters when I need a reminder of
the damage that can be done, can not

be undone. Phrases yielded like
knives. I refuse to use my words
as weapons, though I could, I could
cause hurt, could leave scars. Instead

I choose to swallow, don’t let it out,
don’t let things go, there is no way
to know what the words will become

once they leave my tongue. Possibly
dandelions, possibly stinging nettles,
possibly a poisonous cup of hemlock.
I drink it all down myself instead:

then there can be no misinterpretation.

four chambered heart

July 19, 2007  |  poetry  |  2 Comments

I have said you give me
wings

I have said
though I have been collecting
feathers, downy
and sweet, flight and contour
and semiplume feathers,
bristle and filoplume
feathers, it was you
who gave me the map,
the blueprint, for the verb
to soar, to take off
and land, to catch a ray
of wind
and float.

I have said
you take me to such peaks,
take me to the apex
of mountains,
looking earthward
toward valleys
where everything
is exact,
organized,
acquiescent
I could continue

with hollow bones and unfolding
migration flying, nesting,
cracking open, a four-chambered
heart, ruby breasted flocks,
hovering
perching
But I was raised not
to believe

in pride. I don’t know
what it’s like for others
to take credit
for my efforts,
no matter how much
my triumph was aided
by your maps, your
supple caresses, your
careful slices of leather
cut around the outlines
of my feet
for my landing.

This flight is my
victory

And while you are calling
to me from the clifftop, yelling
claims to my own ascending
moments, the air is so clear
and still
all I can hear
is the pulsing
cadence
of my
own
wings.

what happens when a friendship ends

July 19, 2007  |  poetry  |  No Comments

You tell me, look in the mirror
all you’ll see is betrayal
but the words
aren’t yours to give. The reflection
shows no bones labeled betrayal

nothing close – the only label
with B is beauty and that comes
straight from the sternum. I once
dreamed a horse, a dappled grey

on the beach in early morning golden
light, luminous, galloping, look , I say,
look a horse, coming like a click-clack
echo in a subway tunnel, that’s not a horse

you say, that’s a bird, see the wings?
The mandible, the crown, the
coverts of the wings – I thought I
knew you. Thought our realities were

concentric overlapping circles the way
we had inside jokes in the first
hour. Once you have sucked the silver
threaded foundations of me up and out

through the trepanned hole I allowed
you to drill into my forehead, where
will that leave me? Where will that
leave you? You told me we were circles,

but you are not – in fact, I am not
either, I am a sphere, an opaque crystal
ball, I can tell your fortune, read
your palm, your tea leaves, your

seven years of bad luck from that mirror
you smashed and said I did it. The betrayal
wasn’t mine. The horse will prove that,
when it is not a bird after all, it’s long

long legs leaping over sand dunes
like it’s avoiding puddles in the Village,
the tangled mess you left behind.
Unimportant, no time for that now,

here is the dappled grey, ready
and saddled, and I will
get on that high horse,
get on that wingéd high horse,

and ride.

based on this piece of art, and a recent complicated situation.

famous femmes I would fuck in a heartbeat

July 19, 2007  |  journal entries  |  8 Comments

I’m particularly thinking of women who are out as lesbian (rather than bi – if I counted bisexual celebrity women, that’d be a very different list), and are particularly feminine. Though, again, it’s harder to identify the femmes in the celebrity world, because all the women are more feminine than usual.

  1. Portia de Rossi

  2. Shar Rednour

  3. Shelley Jackson

  4. Heather Corrina

  5. Leisha Hailey

  6. Tristan Taormino

… the famous femmes are hard to pinpoint! Others that aren’t on the list: Michelle Tea, Cynthia Nixon (really femme?), Kristanna Loken … Sure aren’t very many of ‘em.

Nor are there very many famous butches, really; that’s a short list. I can think of Jenny Shimitzu, k.d. lang, Ellen, Melissa Ferrick, Melissa Etheridge, Rosie, Alix Olson, Michelle Rodriguez, Pamela Means … but most of these women probably wouldn’t identify as butch. That’s still a frightening identity to have in the public eye.

Got any to add?

calling all bloggers

July 17, 2007  |  miscellany  |  No Comments

If you feel so inspired to put a link on your blog back to the Sugarbutch Star contest, please link to /search/label/sugarbutch%20star – and you’re welcome to use one of these images:

sugarbutch star: form submission

July 17, 2007  |  miscellany  |  2 Comments

I’m sorry to say, the form is cutting off entries. I’m working to rebuild it. Meanwhile, please email me your submission – [email protected]

Include:

name
email address
characters
setting
plot
your URL (and if it’s ok to publish it, if I write up your story)
& any ideas for the prize you may have

Thanks!!