a tiny revelation

July 26, 2007  |  poetry

I want this to be special
I want this to be totally unique
and meaningful
and singular.
But really,
it was only love.

And this is only a broken heart.

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  1. every experience is unique.

  2. There is no such thing as "only a broken heart".

  3. bold: of course there is. that's the whole point.

  4. Sinclair, I disagree.Respectfully, of course.

  5. bold: well, the reason that irks me a bit is because I feel like I haven't explained myself fully, and you're seeing it to be meaning something that is not what I mean. I could be wrong of course. but let me explain.I'm not saying "only a broken heart" in order to dismiss it, or to belittle it, or to make it mean less, or to diminish the experience. yes, of course, a broken heart is a big fucken deal (I mean, obviously – probably the most traumatic thing we humans go through, aside from witnessing death). but what I'm saying is this: I have been struggling for quite some time with the elaborate, complex emotions, feelings, resentment, hurt, pain – all that crap – and I've been struggling, forcing it, really, to mean something cosmic and soul-deep and all-consuming and infinite. but really, it's just a broken heart.see what I'm saying? now, that is NOT to say that I don't think there are bits of the cosmos, the soul-deep, the all-consuming inside of a broken heart. I do. but what I'm doing is naming this experience. putting it into a little box called "broken heart" and closing the lid and putting it on the shelf. it's only a broken heart. that's all this is. I've wounded; I will heal.

  6. I certainly didn't mean to irk you. I think you misunderstood me a little too. I don't think there's such thing as "only a broken heart", at least for someone like me (and I think, someone like you… but I could be wrong because I don't know you and I've only been reading your blog and really not all that long at that, but anyway…) because every broken heart I've suffered has somehow wound up having a major impact on my life. I'm not saying I don't get over it, I'm not saying I don't move on, I'm saying that, in loving and losing I become somehow changed.And to categorize the agent of that change as "only" anything seems not-quite-right.It's never been for me "only a broken heart" because there's always managed to be regrowth, rebirth, renewal afterwards.So, saying it's only a broken heart feels to me a little like saying "Oh, it's only a forest fire."But I get your point, I see your perspective, and again, I never meant to irk you. You will heal. You've already started to.

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