burst(ing)

I am currently exploding in tiny nebulae (nebulaes? plural?) behind my eyes under my fingerprints inside my bones where the marrow makes blood. sometimes it is impossible to do anything but sit still.

has spring yet arrived? now that we are saving daylight things seem impossibly bright and warm. sun for many extra hours a day. illusions, all of it.

last night I dreamed I was walking, walking, wandering somewhere, all of that is so hazy and unclear, and then eventually I ran into that girl I’m dating and she reached up, took dark dark glasses off of my face, and everything was bright and clear. though I’m glad my subconscious thinks this makes sense, I feel little more than a vice-grip in my chest where my heart used to be.

what are you today? are you nebulae? are you full of marrow you cannot make into blood? are you loving, and loved?

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written at sugarbutch.net since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies like Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, and online at Feministing, Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more; they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut, Sinclair's first book of short erotic stories, was published in 2014. They use the pronouns they, them, theirs, themself, and live in Oakland, CA with their boy.

One thought on “burst(ing)”

  1. Tiara says:

    what are you today? are you nebulae? are you full of marrow you cannot make into blood? are you loving, and loved?

    You Betcha! At least to the loving & loved part. I’ve been caught in a whirlwind for what seems like a month, that I can’t quite seem to step out of…but that’s okay. Whirlwinds make time go by faster, and I’m not missing anything important. Now, April…April marks happenings that should be heeded carefully :-)

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